A hot mess

I am at a Holiday Inn Express in Silt, Colorado for THE FIFTH NIGHT IN A ROW. But don’t feel sorry for me. This place has a BBQ joint. Holla!

Needless to say, I’ve read an entire book, two magazines and watched three movies. If you know me, you know I travel with my portable DVD player like any other toddler/child/pre-teen/teen and came prepared for the airplane and down time in the hotel. However, I didn’t expect to need so many movies. I have two left. That will be enough for the plane ride and airport layovers.

Therefore, I am left with live TV for tonight. And that means a Dancing with the Stars recap on our favorite dork Bachelor.

I’m serious when I say I think the year was 2003 when I last watched anything live on television with commercials that I could not fast forward through. Talk about PAINFUL. Are you kidding me? Jamie Lee Curtis is still trying to get the women of America to try the pooping yogurt? And when did Ugly Betty get canceled? Thank goodness my fake boyfriend Mike Rowe is trying to get people to trade in their cars for Chevrolet trucks. Hey. If Mike Rowe showed up on my door step to get me to give up the Camry? I’d trade my sister. Give my right arm. Whatever he wanted. Isn’t he dreamy?

I had to sit through a lot to get to Jake and Chelsie. There was Dmitry dancing with Kym in her underwear. Literally. Lots of boring numbers. Still love Evan though.

And then there was Jake.

I’ve been staring at my notes for about 10 minutes…eating a chopped beef sandwich for the third time in 48 hours. And I feel that my notes that I took while the dance was going on in front of me are way better than anything I could have made up.

Pretend it’s a live blog:

Jake has on a shirt that says, “Trust Your Pro.” In CURSIVE. Clearly, he means business.

Jake: “I can’t do it…”
Lincee: No joke.
Chelsie: “Drop down and give me 10. And keep your mouth shut and try not to look in the mirror why you do it. Conceited.”

Why is Chelsie’s hair half black? That’s the bigger question.

I have never heard this song in my entire life. Seems to be a trend tonight.

Jake is tripping over his feet. Again and again and again. He’s giving us his “whoa” face. Now he’s showing his gleaming teeth and making what appears to be “hah ya” sounds. Lord help us all.

I can’t watch. For the love that is sequins and fringe where is my fast forward button when I need it? Thank you Mr. Tivo for inventing Tivo. I’m about to die. This is so miserable. I can’t watch yet I can’t look away.

The just went up and down the stairs and then he “wow’d” for five minutes. And he tripped in front of the judges table.

Poor Chelsie.

The dance ended five beats after the song was over.

I think I shall title this post “A hot mess.”

What do you guys think?  Who will be in the bottom?  I’m thinking Niecy and Erin for some reason.  Were you happy with the dances or bored like I was tonight?

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April 13, 2010 12:55 am

Why was Kate wearing feathers in her hair or was it in the earings?…Is she giving her very own tribute to the recently, dearly departed Coach from Survivor?

April 13, 2010 6:17 am

Mike Rowe = FORD, right?

This season’s DWTS is boring me to tears. I can’t even sit through the whole thing. I don’t have Tivo or anything like that, but definitely see where that could be a huge benefit.

April 13, 2010 7:56 am

This season has me so bored that last night I never even turned the tv on. Played scrabble on my itouch until I fell alseep. Thanks for the commentary though, you validated my choice.

April 13, 2010 8:11 am

I agree! Mike Rowe is totally HOT! Lincee, it was even more fun getting to rewind TiVo and watching Jake slide/trip over and over again. I love my TiVo…I’d give up food before I’d give up TiVo. Last night was rather boring. Kate is still awful even though she did improve this week. Not enough to stay though..I hope. Then Jake can go.

April 13, 2010 9:06 am

Mike Rowe pimps for Ford…I heart him too! Love Dirty Jobs 🙂

Dancing with Myself..oh,oh, ah, oh!
Dancing with Myself..oh,oh, ah, oh!
April 13, 2010 9:22 am

I love Ochocinco and Cheryl – they are so cute and fun and hot together! And, Pamela and the wierd Austrailian dude were very good. Other than that – all mediocre or plain bad. Unfortunately, Kate actually did improve and she will probably still be there – even though I cannot stand her whining and self pity! My bottom 3 = Jake, Soap Stud and Niecy. They need to just drop back to 1 hour – cut all the extra crap and show us the dances and the scores!

Welcome to the great state of Colorado! Hope you had some great days while you were here…besides the BBQ and chipped beef! :0)

April 13, 2010 10:05 am

And another thing…can Kate not go ONE episode without crying during rehearsal? Trying to get sympathy votes I guess.

April 13, 2010 10:45 am

DId anyone see that VIENNA has a new “TV gig” as a reporter on Extra???? Here is the link below:
My favorite quote is “Her first “Extra” job shouldn’t be too difficult: The former Hooters waitress is set to interview contestants on “Dancing With the Stars”…

April 13, 2010 11:02 am

My favorite part of the Chelsea/Jake ‘dance’ was at the end – yes, it ended five seconds after the music… and Jake would not get out of Chelsea’s face and she finally had to hit him several times in the thigh to get him to get OFF of her….. too funny!!!!! She’s putting on a good face that she likes and tolerates but Jake, but her body language is screaming something totally different! poor, poor Chelsea!

AND…. and just can’t believe that Extra would add fuel to fire that is Vienna and Jake… WTF Extra???? send this pair into oblivion please!

April 13, 2010 1:15 pm

I enjoyed Pam and Damian and I enjoyed Maks and Erin. Anna and Evan are incredible each week but it just seems easier for Nicole and Evan so I give more props to Erin and Pam.

Kate did the worst but Jon is such an a-hole that I want her to make it one more week just so he doesn’t “win”.

I like Niecy but have never been able to stomach Louie.

old fan
old fan
April 13, 2010 4:46 pm

Glee tonight! Gleeful!!

April 13, 2010 5:32 pm

I’ve always loved Maks but his fun side really comes out with Erin. They are great together. Really liking Nicole too. Please get stiff-as-a-board-no-expression Kate outta there. Enough already. She and the Jakester are enough reasons not to do reality show crossovers.

April 13, 2010 6:54 pm

My predictions for Bottom Two: Jake & Chelsie and Kate & Tony.

Kate’s fans have to run out of power eventually, and I don’t buy Jake’s “committment” for one hot second. That just means he’s intelligent just enough to read all the people online who said that he was a jackass for being so rude to Chelsie.

My favorites are Erin & Maks and Evan & Anna.

And oh. my. GOD. Sausage has a job on Extra? Will they take ANYONE to be an interviewer? First Rachel Uchitel, and now her? They are SUCH famewhores!

April 13, 2010 8:10 pm

Nell, thanks so much for the jimmy fallon link. LOVED IT. I wondered about Chelsies hair too, it was like that last week. Loved it when Jake fell, he was feeling pretty cocky about his dance up to that point. And did you see him look at his shoe afterward? It can’t be his fault. We had a shortstop that always checked his glove when he missed the ball, knew it couldn’t be his fault had to be a faulty glove. Still love Erin, Never have cared for Maks before but am liking him this year. Oh and the bra and panties dance. What was up with that. Oh well it came on early and my husband watched the rest of the show with me hoping someone else would come out in their underware.

My Awesomeness
My Awesomeness
April 13, 2010 9:01 pm

I was so bored I forgot to vote.

I like Erin and Evan. Pamela is doing better than expected, I am just tired of the sex kitten pose all the time. Jake is seriously annoying. Kate can barely even smile. I do like Ochosinco and Cheryl.

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