It’s fantasy suite week and just like Natalie Imbruglia, Madison is torn. We pick up exactly where we left off from hometowns with Madison asking for a private audience with Peter. As she makes her way to him, looking scared to death in her white bedazzled jumpsuit she borrowed from Cher’s closet in 1967, Peter quickly becomes concerned and motions for her to sit on the roaming bench. 

Madison’s faith means everything to her and she tells our bachelor that she is saving herself for marriage. (Using the term “virgin” is so last season.) Is this the first time she’s actually shared this information with Peter? We don’t know. He didn’t fall off the community bench stunned, so there’s that.

After several minutes of hemming and hawing, Madison finally says with words, “If you were to sleep with someone else, it would be hard for me to move forward. I feel like I owe it to you to be upfront and honest about that. It’s important to me.”

Peter comes back with a solid, “What are you saying?”

Interesting. I think using context clues, we can gather what she’s saying, but I understand how Mr. Four Times would want a very black and white answer. He leads with, “It’s not necessarily fair to ask me to do that when I have other relationships.”

Madison becomes flustered. She is adamant that he not consider this an ultimatum. He can do whatever he wants to do. She’s not asking him to NOT sleep with them. She’s just informing him that if he does, she can no longer move forward in their relationship. 

Peter: “What are you saying?”
Madison: “I don’t want to tell you yes or no.”
Lincee: “That wasn’t a yes or no question. Also, oy with the poodles already.”

Peter tells her that he is crazy about her and feels good about where they are at this point. Then he kisses her and sends her back to hang with the other contestants as he tells the camera he’s just been thrown a major curveball. 

In the next shot, we see a bunch of kangaroos hopping around and a beautiful coastline. Australia is truly the most romantic place to fall in love this season. We see Peter reflect against a balcony in his kicky flamingo shirt. We see Madison reflect against a window in mom jeans. We see Hannah Ann daintily squeak a greeting to her BFF Madi and…

Wait, what?

It’s all shades of awkward and a lot of awkward shade when Victoria shows up and the three women sit on the couch staring at each other in silence. Since there are no rules, Mike Fleiss continues his evil streak by forcing them to stay with each other in the same Airbnb. EVIL I SAY!

Peter waltzes in like it’s no big deal. He grabs Hannah Ann so they can swipe a couple of jet skis and talk about life on the beach before having their own From Here to Eternity moment.

PSA: Sand in the nether regions is just as horrible as it sounds. Never recreate this famous cinematic scene. Good night and good luck.

In a nutshell, Hannah Ann gives him all sorts of confidence that she is happy to be his wife. Or not. She basically tells him that if things don’t work out with her receiving the final rose, she’s totally cool with it. Why? Because she wants him to ultimately be happy.

Sure. That and the fact that she wants nothing to do with Peter in a matrimonial sort of way. 

That night, Hannah Ann decides to speed things along by wearing a rosey pink caftan without a bra. One tug of a string and the entire thing comes tumbling down. Peter gives her the forgo card and the old timey skeleton key and they are off to the races!

We learn the infamous silhouette up against the frosted glass door to the bathroom is Hannah Ann. It was very Titanic if you ask me. Then the scene cuts to Hannah walking into the Airbnb as if Victoria and Madison have no clue what just went down twelve hours ago. (Not a euphemism.) 

Victoria gives her a perfunctory “you look cute” before asking how things went. 

Really Victoria? You feel now is the time to ask, “How did it go in your sex den last night with the man I’m about to forgo?” Ridiculous. I love it. 

Peter takes Victoria on a helicopter ride along the Gold Coast. They are dropped off at the top of a waterfall to make out for a few minutes before discussing the fact that they haven’t fought the entire day. Progress! Peter assumes this means they are on the same page and he has officially broken down all her weird communication walls. 

Victoria teeters on the edge at dinner when she starts talking about past relationships and how these jokers never asked her about her feelings. When Peter asks, she figures there’s something wrong with her so she retreats. She says “I don’t know” a few hundred times, which now rivals how many times she says the word “like.” All Peter wants to know is that he can count on her to stick around, even if their views are different. 

Peter asks her not to push him away. She listens and brings him forward in every way possible. She becomes so emotional that she uses her own hemline to wipe away the happy tears and celebratory snot. Clearly it’s true love! Why else would she be so bouncy as she walked away from their jungle cabin the next morning?

Then the scene cuts to Victoria sliding into the Airbnb as if Hannah Ann and Madison have no clue what just went down twelve hours ago. (Not a euphemism.) 

Hannah Ann gives her a perfunctory “you look skinny” before asking how things went. 

Victoria: “It was productive.” 
Lincee: “SNAP!!!”

This makes Madison sad. She leaves the room so the other two can talk about how ridiculous it is that she gave him an ultimatum. 

Madison puts all forgo card discussions on hold so she can climb a building with Peter. They ride an elevator up to the seventy-seventh floor, put on some coveralls, go outside, and then lock themselves onto the railing like they are on a Mardi Gras float. The next thirty minutes, we watch them climb steps, lose their breath, and utter OMG over and over again.

Were the pictures from way up there cool? Probably. Was it a StairMaster date? You bet it was. Did Peter liken it to every climbing, feeling safe, rely on each other analogy he could think of in the moment? Of course he did. 

The best part of this date was my watching party asking each other the following questions:

What’s up there for them to do?
Are they going to jump off or something?
Is this the part where they scale down?
Is there a zip line we can’t see?

Nope. It’s pretty exercise. Feel the burn and have fun kids!

Dinner that night is practically nonexistent. Madison hates that Peter felt like she gave him an ultimatum, but she doesn’t want to feel about her values either. She doesn’t expect him to have saved himself for marriage. That’s his prerogative. Her point is that she can’t accept a proposal if he gets down on one knee at the end of this journey, having just slept with someone else six days before. 

Peter flat out asks if she sees herself walking away. She claims she can’t “wrap her mind around it” since she’s sacrificed and compromised a lot already. This is her line and she needs to know if he crossed it.

Peter does not want to fess up. He definitely doesn’t want to give details. He finally admits that he did cross that line.

But he also sees them together at the end of this gig. Doesn’t that count for something? Of course, he can see it with other people, too. Ouch.

This is what we call a nail in the coffin, people. So long, farewell Auburn. 

Madison excuses herself so she can cry in private. Peter cries right there at the table, composes himself, and then goes to get his woman. He apologizes and proclaims that he can NOT lose her. They sit forehead to forehead and I think Madison is about to crack when one hand comes up to Peter’s cheek. But she quickly puts it back down. 

Are they going to kiss? Is Peter going to break her? They are THIS CLOSE…

Madison: “I can’t change who I am.”
Peter: “Do you not think we can get past this? Don’t walk away.”

Spoiler: Madison walks away.

Here’s the ultimate question: Where does she go? In my opinion, Peter didn’t break down enough for this to be OVER over. I think she’s simply going back to her awkward Airbnb. I think she doesn’t know at this point what she’s going to do. 

I can report that there were two roses on the Home Depot pedestal. Victoria and Hannah Ann are on the rose ceremony rug, yet someone asks, “Where’s Madison?” We see Peter standing as someone leaves in a limo. Could it be that Madison came to the ceremony only to tell him good-bye? And that’s why Hannah Ann is saying she wants to be chosen? Not a default rose?

Then there’s the scene with Peter apologizing profusely to someone in the hallway. He’s in normal clothes. These clothes are different from the clothes he’s wearing when his mom begs him not to let “her” go. Is that “her” Madison since she’s the only one Barb has met?

Let’s not forget that Our Host Chris Harrison drops a big bomb before the proposal which makes Peter have to go to the bed and lay down due to hyperventilation. Is that Maddie coming back to say she’s in this again?

WHAT SAY YOU! Sound off in the comments section!