Bachelorette Jenn Recap | Episode 6

Once upon a time, I saw the Broadway musical Wicked and was forever changed by the story of a green woman named Elphaba and her popular roommate Galinda (the “ga” is silent). As these two ladies introduced me to another side of Oz, launching their friendship at the University of Shiz and getting into trouble at the Emerald City, not once did I think about Seattle. 

Not. Once. 

SIMPLE DISCLAIMER

The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. You probably aren’t even reading this because the simple disclaimer has been a part of my recap since the days I emailed this puppy to just a few of my closest friends. HA! Fooled you. You’ve skipped this amusing mockery and will not know what in the world your friends are talking about when they say, “Did you like the new disclaimer Lincee wrote?” However, if you or someone on Instagram happens to personally know, sort of know, know the brother/cousin of, thought you saw in the grocery store buying leftover 4th of July candy or have an Orange Theory instructor who looks exactly like one of the bachelors on the show…none of this is personal. I’m sure they are all lovely people.

FIRST ONE-ON-ONE DATE
Marcus

When I think of Seattle, my mind immediately zeroes in on three things: Starbucks, the Space Needle, and grunge. ABC would like us to think differently. According to Uncle Jesse Palmer and a quick Google search, Seattle is known as the Emerald City. 

Did showrunners bombard Wikipedia to make this a little-known fact? Or is it a real thing? No one knows, but it seems handy that Disney would cross-promote this film on their network, right?

That would make sense. If Disney was the distributor. 

Universal is producing the movie Wicked. They own NBC. Color me confused, but somewhat excited to see how all this turns out Thanksgiving week! Although I may only see the first half in theaters, because rumor has it, the director cut the film exactly where the musical’s first half ends. 

DEFYING GRAVITY.

It looks like Jenn is equally pumped to follow the Yellow Brick Road through Emerald City, or someone has told her to dress in pink and pretend that she knows what’s going on. A hundred bucks says Marcus is hella confused.

It’s a good thing we have former bachelorette besties Daisy and Kelsey to show them the way! Sweet Kelsey gushes about how this journey that Marcus and Jenn are on actually works! Have you seen the giant rocks she sports on a very important finger? She and Joey are over the moon happy!

Pay no attention to Daisy sitting there, feeling like a second-place loser. She’s just happy to be there. And don’t spend too long reminding yourself that Jenn was one of those castoffs, too. She may have found love with the man standing next to her who is wracking his brain for any details regarding the Wizard of Oz. Is he the lion, the tin man, or the scarecrow in this bizarre scenario?

YOU ARE A LION, MARCUS. AND NOT THE COWARDLY KIND, MY MAN!

I could make you read a few paragraphs right now detailing the date that unfolded every few hundred yards down a painted yellow brick road, but it would bore you to tears. Just know that had to make choices and compromise when faced with two words. Are you spicy or sweet? Are you slow or fast? Blah, blah, blah. 

Instead, I’m going to fast-forward to the interesting part at the end. Former bachelorette Charity was there in a white ball gown, complete with crown and magic wand. In place of a darling, whimsical star at the end of her wand, there’s a very sharp point that most normal people would label as a lance or elegant shiv. Charity instructs the couple to poke the weapon into the gathering of balloons that make up a huge arc over props from the movie. 

Inside the balloons are messages from family and friends because, as we all know, there’s no place like home. Or home towns. 

Get it? ABC is on it. 

The first balloon reveals a picture of Marcus’ sister at his graduation. He begins crying because Jenn unlocked that vault long ago, and he can’t help but tear up as he shares how important his sister means to him. Then they watch a video of her that she filmed in her car. So fun!

The next balloon reveals a letter from Jenn’s mom that she must have typed in script font and printed from her Commodore 64. Jenn cries just as hard as Marcus. Family means everything!

Speaking of family, there’s Trista! The Mother of all Bachelor Nation. Beckoning the bachelorette, who has mentioned several times that she’s afraid of heights, to join Marcus in a hot air balloon, defying gravity with the safety precautions of a tether on four sides. 

That night, in a fluffy pink cocktail dress, Jenn manages to keep her emotions in check when Marcus goes deep into the well of his past. Would you like to know why he has so many walls up around him? Because his parents left him and his sister at daycare one day, and never came back. They were in and out of foster care systems since then.

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW? I AM GUTTED.

Bless Marcus’ heart. He whispers that he often wonders what was wrong with him that his parents didn’t want him. Jenn leans forward and whispers back, “There is nothing wrong with you. Sharing your story doesn’t show that you are weak or broken. It shows how incredible you are. I see that. I see you.”

MARRY HIM. MARRY HIM RIGHT NOW, JENN. DO IT.

She doesn’t propose, but she does give him the date rose. Marcus is headed to home towns!

GROUP DATE
“A Love That Listens”

Since we are in the Emerald City, and the theme of this episode is to trot out anyone who may have ever been on this show, bachelor alums Molly and Jason Mesnick invite the group date guys to a radio show so they can play a little word association games with the boys!

While they wait for the men to show up, Molly casually asks Jenn who has stuck out among the group. Jenn rolls her eyes (red flag) and answers, “Sam.” Molly calls out Jenn’s facial expression, and Jenn shares, ONCE AGAIN, that she needs more of Sam’s emotional side versus the crackling heat they create just looking at one another. Molly nods. 

We see the boys in the booth for about three minutes before Molly and Jason kick them back out, demanding that Jenn needs some alone time with one of them. And that lucky guy is Sam. The rest of the men are sent to an adjacent sound booth, where they can not only hear but see Sam and Jenn’s conversation unfold before them.

Jenn goes into the conversation with a solid head on her shoulders. She needs answers from Sam, and she does not find it odd in the slightest that Molly, Jason, a few deejays, and the entire camera crew watch her tentatively. 

Jenn begins her questioning with a simple inquiry: How has your first impression of me changed since you met me on night one?

Sam is quick to respond that they are totally on the same page, even though he thought ABC would have asked Daisy or Maria to be the bachelorette. 

Lincee: WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?

Sam: You said you wanted ferocious love. 

Jenn: What about me? 

Sam: You’re selfless.

Jenn: How am I selfless?

Sam: You’re either that or full of SH-T. Our connection is hot. 

Molly manages to keep her mouth shut, but her facial expressions can’t be concealed. My favorite part was when the camera switched to the boys in the other room, who were ALL answering the questions with multiple choice answers. I especially loved Spencer’s theory that Sam does not know the definition of selfless.

Sam lunges for Jenn and makes out with her passionately, hoping the camera is getting his good side. Jenn’s bewilderment melts into the kiss, and everyone watching throws popcorn at their screens. BE STRONG, JENN.

To Jenn’s defense, she did tell the camera in her talking head moment that she didn’t feel Sam answered any of her questions. YOU THINK?

Later that night, at the cocktail party, Devin, Spencer, Jon-athon, and Grant all manage to answer Jenn’s questions during their successful one-on-one time. Grant makes sure she knows that she is respected and that he chooses her no matter what. Jon-athon loves that she challenges him and hopes she doesn’t stop. Devin wants her to meet his family, and Spencer makes sure she is understood in all ways that count.

And then there was Sam.

Our girl Jenn wants to give him another chance to answer one serious question: Why do you like me? 

Sam: I’m here for a reason. 

Jenn: That’s your journey. How do I fit in?

Sam: I can’t explain it. It’s something that I feel.

Jenn: Okay, why me? 

Sam [frustrated]: I LOVE YOU.

Jenn: Stop. 

Sam explains that his feels are scary, and he doesn’t know what to do with them. Jenn is strong and makes him explain this bold gesture by backing it up with some receipts. WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?

At this point, Stephanie, Amy, Lara, Todd, and I are all shouting adjectives and phrases. Pick a feature! Compliment it! Tell her she’s brilliant! Talk about her beauty! Choose words! ANY WORDS! 

Sam can’t make the leap and is unable to answer Jenn’s simple question with even a made-up answer. Even though Jenn doesn’t kick him to the curb, she keeps the date rose for herself, claiming she has a lot of thinking to do. 

SECOND ONE-ON-ONE
JEREMY

Who decided they thought Jeremy was a delight after this date? Raise your hand. ME TOO!

When he sees Jenn across a crowded Emerald City town square and scoffs at her for not running and jumping into his arms, I knew Jer Bear and I were kindred spirits. He was equally charming during the palm reading and fish throwing, but the flower bouquet was the moment that sealed the deal for me.

The puke green sweater at dinner knocked him down a few pegs, but there’s nothing I can do about that now, is there? 

We learn at dinner that Jeremy’s mom is the sweetest Jewish woman you ever did meet, and yes, she wants him to marry a nice Jewish girl, but his previous girlfriends have been Catholic, so it’s all good.

Jenn loves this! He’s all into his Jewish heritage. She’s into her Buddhist heritage. Surely they are MFEO! They can raise their kids Budish! Jewhist! Masel Tov! 

Jer Bear gets a rose because Jenn thinks life will be fun with him. Hooray!

ROSE CEREMONY

Jess looks stunning in a pink and white flowery sequined gown as she rushes through the hotel room, crashing the boys’ area, looking for Sam. She needs to get to the bottom of Sam’s love outburst before the rose ceremony.

She finds him in his room getting ready and requests a chat. She wants to give him a chance to take back the love, rewind a few heartbeats, and start over with the simple question she’s now asked him three times: What do you like about me?

Sam says all the right things in cliché ways, but it’s still not enough for Jenn, who is slowly losing her ever-living mind that he can’t express one emotion that pertains to her and not himself. Sam frantically starts spouting his favorite “ferocious love” speech, and Jenn stops him in his tracks. Love isn’t a script. 

Jenn fervently tells Sam that if he truly loves her, he should be able to spout off a dozen reasons why. Then Sam gets mad that Jenn hasn’t HEARD anything he’s said. Jenn cooly replies, “I did hear them. They just didn’t hold any weight.”

She announces to everyone and no one that she is DONE. Jenn hugs Sam and lets him leave the premises. Sam tells the camera that Jenn’s energy was dull and that he is leaving the main thing as the main thing. 

That doesn’t make sense, and also, we don’t care. BYE, SAM.

ROSE CEREMONY

Along with Sam, Spencer and Grant are escorted back down the yellow brick road, away from Jenn. Next week is home towns, and she will meet Marcus’ sister, Jer Bear’s mama, and the families of Devin and Jon-athon. 

Now that the sexual chemistry that is Sam is gone, I have no idea who is going to end up on one knee in front of Jenn. The remaining four seem pretty equal to me, but if I had to guess, I’d say Marcus is slightly ahead of the rest of the pack, with Jeremy not far behind.