Bachelorette Katie Hometowns 

I have to admit that this recap feels daunting. After watching Katie’s “hometowns,” followed by a quick perusal of the Twitterverse, I’ve deduced that much like our friend Greg, Bachelor Nation is reeling in emotions. We are divided, dear reader. And social media dictates that you must choose sides.

Are you Team Greg? Or are you Team Katie? 

I’m not ashamed to admit that more than half of my morning walk with Lara (roommate) was dedicated to an extensive pro/con list detailing the ins and outs of what went down in the last forty-five minutes of the show. Lara is a lawyer. Therefore, she argued both sides beautifully. Since I’m a simple writer, I will take her words and make them my own later in the recap.

But first, we have to get through a few somewhat boring hometowns dates. I’ve taken the liberty of narrowing two of them down to the bare essentials. Let’s zip through these, shall we?

BLAKE

Katie executes an incredible Jump & Straddle™ worthy of Olympic gold. She’s eager to visit Canada, and I have to give props to the ABC Intern for slapping a maple leaf on anything that stands still in the resort bar. How did he get so much Canadian memorabilia on such short notice?

Then I remembered that Serena from Matt James’ season is Canadian. I’m sure there’s a warehouse in east LA full of decorative pillows, rustic lanterns, a thousand tea lights, 8×10 dancing rugs, roaming benches, and a big box of Canadian paraphernalia. I bet one of the stipulations of Blake hijacking the season was that he had to run by the storage facility and pick up the moose antlers, which would later be Gorilla glued to a mechanical bull.

That’s right. Katie and Blake rode a mechanical moose. They also played darts. Blake confesses that a typical Friday and Saturday night for him is playing darts with his buddies. It’s just like Lara and me, but substitute “darts” with “mahjong.” #samsies. 

We also learn that Blake uses syrup in the bedroom. 

After a quick game of asphalt hockey, Katie changes into her favorite girl-next-door outfit to meet Blake’s family. Katie is nervous. Blake tries to calm her down by saying, “You don’t have to be great. You just have to be you.”

Interesting. Is that the same as when Aaron Neville sings, “I don’t know much, but I know I love you?” Whatever. Let’s meet the sister who looks like a Jungle Cruise Skipper. LOVE HER.

Since Blake is sex-positive, he has no problem telling his mother that he and Katie connect on a physical level. Their personalities also align. Mama takes Katie for a little one-on-one time, and this was when I noticed that she is wearing the over-fifty version of Sandy’s black leather pants. She also gives a nod to Connor the Cat by making sure her first few buttons are undone.  There’s no doubt she’s giving someone chills that are multiplying. Go Blake’s Mom.

There’s nothing new to learn in the conversation, other than Katie informing his mother that she does not plan on telling any of the men that she loves them until it’s the last guy standing. Ironically, while Katie shares this tidbit of information with Blake’s mom, Blake’s sister is grilling her brother, and I AM HERE FOR IT.

Sister: “So, this is it…now? You were set on Clare. Then you were infatuated with Tayshia. Now Katie is the one. Is she falling in love with you? Have you said it?”
Blake: “What do you mean? I’d propose for sure.”
Lincee: “Atta boy, Blake. Don’t be great. Just be you.” 

I understand this feels like Skipper Sister is pressuring Blake into an admission of love when he may not necessarily feel it on his insides. HOWEVER, Blake just told his sister that he’s ready and willing to propose. Clearly, Skipper Sister can only conclude that if he’s going to drop down on one knee and pop open the Neil Lane box, he can say I love you to the woman he’s about to spend the rest of his life with, right?

In the end, Blake can’t say it. Why? Because he doesn’t feel it. It’s as simple as that.

JUSTIN

Justin’s family proves they are hella normal by their unwillingness to travel to New Mexico from Baltimore so they can meet a woman their son has known for seventeen hours. He puts on a happy face when Katie performs a mediocre Jump & Straddle™ into his arms. Then they take a horse-drawn carriage ride through the desert. Since the same scenery whisks by with every passing second, and they have nothing to say to one another, they decide to make out for the duration of the trip. 

Oddly enough, Katie can’t stop blabbering about her chemistry with Justin. Is this creative editing? Or is she just trying to throw us off the trail? Regardless, she is upset when Justin reveals that his family isn’t coming to meet her, but his two best friends are at the resort. 

We meet Tommy and Herb, and I decide that Herb is the greatest. I would like for him to be my friend, too. In a nutshell, we learn that Justin is not big on PDA and has an extremely hard time letting his guard down. But he’s perfectly content with Katie, and the friends can see that he’s very happy. 

Justin doesn’t seem to think that saying “I love you” is a big deal. He has plenty of time. Herb gently reminds his buddy that there are four days left. It’s as if this is brand new information for Justin. 

I don’t think Herb necessarily meant for Justin to say those three little words to Katie, but that’s exactly what Justin does while canoodling on the roaming bench. I’m pretty sure Herb’s point was for Justin to reflect that there are only four days left, and he hasn’t said it to this woman, so maybe he needs to rethink his potential future with Katie. 

Peer pressure is real. The more you know.

GREG

The most enthusiastic Jump & Straddle™ is definitely the one Greg receives when Katie greets him. I found it odd that Greg chooses to wear pajama shorts on his date, but I’ll let it slide.

They ride a tandem bike, repurpose the mechanical bull/moose setup with a surfboard, play a little basketball, and kiss in the fabricated rain, which we know was the ABC Intern and one of the handlers spraying a water hose on the lovebirds. 

Meeting the family is a delight. Greg’s mom is wonderful. His brother is normal. His best friend is Michael Phelps. And the two sisters who couldn’t be there send video messages, complete with salutations from all nine nieces and nephews. 

Needless to say, Greg is a hot emotional mess. He can’t stop the tears from falling. The family tells Katie that “the light” has turned back on in Greg’s eyes. Since his father’s death, something has been missing. Katie has brought joy into his life and they are forever grateful. Katie responds by promising his mother and brother that Greg will be there next week. He’s definitely going through. He all but has a rose on the lapel of his hoodie/blazer combo.

Greg emotes all over the place, sharing that Katie is the one. He is going to marry her. They’ve even talked about moving to New York together. Katie fills him up with happiness, and there isn’t an iota of his subconscious telling him to run. He would like to hear, “I love you, though.” And he hopes he’s going to get that validation tonight.

Why Greg’s mom doesn’t tell her son that Katie will not be offering that validation is beyond me. Katie told her that she wouldn’t say it until the last man was standing. Details. 

Greg sits down with Katie and is visibly beside himself when Katie relays that her family promises he hasn’t been this happy in a very long time. Greg takes the next five minutes to pour every inch of his heart out. He once again admits that he is in love and that this is real to him. 

He pauses to give Katie the opportunity to respond since he’s dominated the conversation. She does not. Katie just stares at him, stone still, with what some called a “creepy smile” on her face. 

A few beats pass and Greg asks, “What do you think?”

Katie: “Nothing. I just love looking at you.”

What in the actual world was that? Greg flings his feelings on Katie in a solid profession of undying love and our bachelorette claps back with, “I love looking at you?” 

Something is amiss. The disconnect can’t be this severe.

Katie bowls through Greg’s shock, ensuring he knows she told everyone that he is “there next week.” She believes in their connection and promises it will be worth it in the end. Then she whispers, “We’re almost there.”

I’m glad to witness that Katie isn’t a complete idiot. She notices his sharp transformation into Moody Greg and asks why he’s hastily switched his attitude from blushing bride to a sullen teenager playing Fortnite in his basement. 

Greg responds with his own questions, including but not limited to: What do you mean? What do you think? Don’t you know what I need?

Katie stares at him. She reveals nothing in her face. She has zero sentimentality. Greg reminds her that this is hard, and even though he knows there are other guys, he wants a reality check of what is going on in Katie’s head. Her response? “Just hang in there.”

Greg is shocked. He can’t wrap his head around what’s happening. At this point, I’m sort of confused too, but when they begrudgingly stand up to go outside, they stop in a darkened room right by the door to hash it out further. Here is where we get more clues, presumably, because they think they are hidden in the shadows, and their mic packs are miraculously turned off by themselves.

Katie claps back, assuring him that it’s hard for her to go and see other families. But, of course, this means nothing to Greg. She tells him that he’s definitely getting a rose. This pisses him off even further. Katie wonders how all of a sudden, he has lost trust in their relationship. She warned him it was going to be hard!

Greg: “I can’t be there at the end if it’s not going to be me.”
Katie: “I need you to trust me.”

Greg: “How can you not know that it’s me and you at this point? This is the end!”
Katie: “I never felt like you wanted to give up until right now.”
Greg: “I never felt like you were holding back until right now.”

Katie walks out to the SUV and instructs Greg to “give me a kiss.” It was short, quick, and uncomfortable. Just like that time the bottle landed on NAME REDACTED at Leslie W’s boy/girl party in 1992, and I had to suck it up and touch lips with the Jack Wagon (gross) because I was sure a future spin would surely land on the boy I really wanted to kiss.

Spoiler: It did not. 

GREG THE SEQUEL

Greg gets dressed and visits Katie. She immediately knows something is wrong because when boys get all spiffed up and come to her room, it always ends poorly. She steels her nerves and looks at him in anticipation.

Greg: “I wanted to talk to you about the other night.”
Katie: “You seem nervous.”
Greg: “You seem fine.”
Lincee: “OOOHHHHHHHHH NO YOU DIDN’T!”

Katie looks alarmed. Greg presses on, reminding her that he told his entire family that she was the one. She fills this hole in his heart. He wanted to express that huge reality to her, and when he was done, he felt like he was telling his deepest feelings to a stranger. In his eyes, she dismissed him without a thought.

To Greg’s point, she did just sit there. But the question remains, why?

Katie apologizes that she came off inconsiderate. She determines that Greg’s crushed heart results from her failing to tell him that she doesn’t plan on saying “I love you” to any of the men until they are the last one standing. All better? 

Nope. In fact, all is not better. All is very, very bad. Katie has inadvertently dashed fuel into the fire. Greg receives this information as confirmation that Katie has no idea who is going to end up as the final guy. If she knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was him, she would have said it. Because why would it matter at that moment?

To Greg’s point again, there are only a few days left.

Greg launches into this hypothesis with fresh vigor. Who cares about the rose? Why does that matter? He just told her she fills a hole in his heart left by his dead father. And she has NOTHING to say in return? 

Katie finally allows herself to start crying. She’s a bit defiant. She is not giving up on them, and she has fought so hard to make sure he knew that he was a front-runner. 

Greg laughs at the disconnect. He confesses that after giving her everything, he’s reached his breaking point. Katie treads lightly, wondering if Greg is saying that he doesn’t want to stay. Is he done?

Greg: “That’s exactly what I’m saying. It was never about a rose for me. I never asked you to confess your love. I was just asking for Katie.”

They are days away from an engagement. He let it all out the other night. She didn’t have a response. Greg assumes that Katie is incapable of understanding what he needs in a moment like that (read: some sliver of validation), and as a result, they must not be compatible. He was going to marry her. He saw her as his girl. CUE THE WATERWORKS.

Katie: “I don’t know what to say.”
Lincee: “We know. Also, SAY SOMETHING.”

Greg is frustrated. He leaves Katie to weep on her crying sofa. He stumbles around the resort and finally slumps into a chair at the outdoor cantina. With the help of thirty producers and two camera crews, Katie “finds” Greg and hustles to him. Whilst pressing her boobs into his face, she frantically hugs him. 

She’s confused about how that one night changed everything. Then she admits that he has always been her number one. Moody Greg rubs his eyes in disgust. It’s not about one or two. Doesn’t she understand?

Greg doesn’t want to be number one. He wants to be the only one. Was she going to wait until after the fantasy suites when they made love?

As someone who is sex-positive, I’d say that probably factors into her decision. Sorry, Greg. 

Katie is shaking. She wonders out loud if there’s even a point for her to try and change his mind. Is she wasting her time? What does it matter if Greg doesn’t believe her? This whole thing is for NOTHING if he leaves!

Greg: “I’m not happy here anymore. I’m done.”

And he walks off. 

Katie rushes back to her room as fast as she can go in her fluffy pink house shoes and barricades herself in the bathroom. Kaitlyn comes to talk her off the ledge through the door, and later, in the actual lavatory. She knows she can’t get Greg back, and she wants someone to book her flight home right now.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

A lot is going on in this exchange. And I’m curious what will happen next week on the (THREE HOUR) season finale. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Katie does not look happy whatsoever. Look at her face. It’s pained.

As I mentioned at the beginning of the recap, Bachelor Nation is divided in two. So let’s see if we can sift through the debris and make something of the breakup. 

FACTS

• Greg vomits his feelings all over Katie, through tears of joy and probably some relief, exclaiming that she is his future wife. 
• We also learn from family members that Greg has never talked about his dad to anyone before. So this is also a milestone to keep in mind.
• Katie responds in silence, with a plastered smile on her face. I think this was genuine. I don’t think she was faking the smile. 
• Greg wants some sort of response or validation, so he asks for one. Katie’s unfortunate reply is, “I just like looking at you.”
• Greg tries to get her to say something positive about their relationship on the couch that night, as well as in the darkened room. All Katie can say is something along the lines of, “Trust me.”
• I don’t believe Greg was looking for “I love you.” I think he just needed something that endorsed his very deep, very emotional feelings. PS: That endorsement didn’t need any sort of language that involved the show. Nothing about a rose or his placement in comparison to the other guys. 
• Katie drops the ball again in the darkened room. Question: Can she not say anything? Is it in her contract that she can’t tell Greg specifically that he is the winner? She did use the term “front-runner,” but I guess he still considers that a comparison.
• Or does Katie not know who the winner is at this point? Remember, when Michael went home, she cried, claiming that her person just left the show.
• Maybe she does need the fantasy suites to decide.
• I believe Greg going to Katie in her room was Katie’s last chance to fix what he believed she messed up on the hometown date. Was this a lost in translation moment? Does Katie really not “get” what Greg is asking her to do or say?
• Question: If Katie was all in for Greg, and he one-hundred-percent was the last guy standing in her mind, could she pull a Colton and leave with Greg? Or has that been fixed in the contract since he jumped that fence?
• Some people on Twitter believe Greg was too hard on Katie. They believe she was doing what she had to do to play the game and follow the rules.
• Some also believe that he shouldn’t expect her to react a certain way. Just because he laid his feelings all on the table doesn’t mean she has to have a certain reaction to them. 

THOUGHTS

• Why did the show runners have an “In Memoriam” b-roll package of Greg at the end of the episode? Is that supposed to be funny? Are they hopeful the audience will accept him? Remember their love story fondly?
• Was Greg’s response enough to land him a coveted position of future Bachelor? Or do too many people hate him?
• There is footage of Katie going on a date with Blake where a big huge puppet man is burning. This has to be during the finale. There’s also a moment when Katie is sitting on the bed and Blake closes the door with the “do not disturb” sign. One would assume sex-positive stuff is going on in that room. 
• So, does Katie not get a ticket home? Does she go on fantasy dates with Blake and Justin? (Even writing Justin, I laughed in my head. Poor Justin.)
• And if Blake is the last man standing, does he get mad when he watches Katie’s breakdown over both Greg and Michael? 
• Does Uncle Neil come to the resort? Will anyone propose? We’ve yet to see the Home Depot proposal pedestal. 
• Will Greg show up at After the Final Rose and profess his love?
• Will Katie ask the show to fly her to Ohio so she can start a life with Michael and James?
• Who’s watching Bachelor in Paradise besides me?

Sound off in the comment section! Let’s figure this out together. And NO SPOILERS!