Bachelorette Michelle Men Tell All: Apology Accepted

Bachelorette Michelle Recap | Hometowns

To keep with the tradition of past Men Tell All recaps, I will boil down ninety minutes of footage into ten helpful bullet points that shed light on the important pieces of information we gathered after watching and fast-forwarding through the show. 

  • The ABC wardrobe department pilfered velour curtains from the set of Wonder Years to craft three similar yet different dresses for Kaitlyn, Tayshia, and Michelle. Thanks to the forest green, brick red, and mustard yellow colors, they looked like bridesmaids in a 70s-inspired wedding.
  • Pizza Peter is still annoying. Guyliner Will still hates him. He also wants Peter’s sister to stay out of his DMs. BURN!
  • We were neither shocked nor surprised when a random man served Will legal papers, claiming defamation of character. 
  • Additionally, no one seems to mind the planted naked man in the audience who streaked through the studio, claiming to love Rodney. 
  • When Kaitlyn asks pretty boy Ryan why he would be dumb enough to bring Bachelor franchise Cliff Notes with him on the actual show, instead of memorizing them like a normal person, Ryan doesn’t have a good answer. So instead, he apologized for being a Chach.
  • Martin is still sketchy, yet he thanks Michelle for dumping him so he could find his real soulmate. You should know they are happy, and NO, he did NOT have a girlfriend before the show, even though Will heard on “the street” that Martin was in a relationship. 
  • Is this the same “street” where Jamie heard about the light-skinned baller? Where is this street, and what are they saying about me?
  • You probably don’t remember Chris, but he almost got in a fight with Olu. He apologizes for “putting words in Michelle’s mouth.” 
  • Jamie is THE WORST. What’s sad is that all of the guys were so disappointed in his storyline on the show. Most of them claim he was an awesome guy. Romeo even admitted that he wanted to emulate Jamie’s positivity. 
  • Never fear. Jamie still speaks in weird manipulative sentences. He’s fine with the guys thinking he did something wrong and acknowledges their feelings, yet he never apologizes for anything. DEFLECT. DEFLECT. DEFLECT.
  • The guys switch tactics and ask why he didn’t just fess up to being the one who started the rumor about the light-skinned baller. Jamie’s response? “You never asked if it was me who said those things.”
  • Right.
    It reminds me of the time I caught my ex-husband cheating on me. He told me the same thing. So I asked him if he had ever murdered anyone because I forgot to inquire about that when we were engaged. 
  • The audience LOVES Rick. There’s still something off about him to me, but I wish him well. 
  • The night’s biggest news was a certain Uncle Neil diamond missing from one very important finger on Tayshia’s hand. She milks the moment, claiming she will always love Zack, then is overwhelmed with emotion. She has to leave the stage to collect herself. 
  • Everyone loves Rodney. I mean EVERYONE. The guys, the crew, the audience, and Kaitlyn. Michelle hugs his neck and executes their darling special handshake at the end of the night. I wish this guy was the next Bachelor, but he will do well in Paradise. Here’s hoping he doesn’t land in the Friend Zone again.
  • In other weird news, ABC airs scenes from Clayton’s season, and we see with our own eyes the final three girls! Hooray for Bachelor brackets, am I right? Clearly, they are doing something different this year, which makes me assume that the show will be full of unnecessary drama—all aboard the Hot Mess Express.

I thought Michelle looked happy. I have no idea who she is going to pick! But if I had to narrow it down, it would be Nayte as her winner. Brandon is the runner-up. And Joe is the first one to be sent home from the trio.

What do you think?

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December 9, 2021 2:30 pm

I LOVE RODNEY! I made my husband watch the portions of the show that he was in and HE loved Rodney. I firmly believe Michelle missed the opportunity to have a man dedicated to her and who would put her on a pedestal. However, he will find someone worthy of himself.

I loved this Tell All. There were a lot of antics, but it seemed that for the most part everyone was generous with their forgiveness. I agree with you Lincee, I think in that order and thank goodness. Joe is pretty, but that’s it.

December 10, 2021 10:22 am

I don’t think a woman should choose a life partner just because he’s the one who puts her on a pedestal.

December 10, 2021 7:36 am

I felt bad for Tayshia. It did not seem like she was comfortable talking about her breakup during the Tell All but she’s so contracted at this point she probably didn’t have a choice. And they talked about it for about 30 seconds, like what was the point?

Unpopular prediction but I think she ends up with Joe. They had such a connection from the beginning. Everyone says he’s a snoozefest but I think he’s just quiet and that doesn’t make for a good tv personality.

Clayton’s season looks like a gigantic mess, I’m kind of excited. Like if you’re gonna give me a bachelor whose journey to find love I don’t care about, at least make it messy.

F*** your ex-husband, Lincee.

December 10, 2021 9:58 am

Can we talk about how Peter wanted to “bury the hat” with Will?

I was surprised how upset Olu got about Chris’s “low IQ” comment. It occurs to me that I should be just as insulted at the producers of this show, who must think I have an equally low IQ to present this drivel as actual entertainment. So awful – fake lawyer, fake streaker, fake genuine conversation about Tayshia’s breakup, fake tears over Rick’s breakup with Michelle (who was buying that as a romantic relationship?), fake signs in the audience…the list goes on.

December 10, 2021 10:21 am
Reply to  Betsy

You’re watching it aren’t you?

December 10, 2021 2:39 pm

Honorable mention to Romeo pulling a Single White Female on Martin.

December 10, 2021 2:58 pm

Hi Lincee – i don’t recall who said it after Jamie said “you didn’t ask me”… but I think it may have been Romeo. I heard someone say “that’s lying by omission!” That really hits me hard because i had a former flame cheat on me and take the same tactic — “you didn’t ask me the right questions”. I about went through the roof, it made my blood boil. I am so sorry to hear you went through that with your spouse, who is supposed to love and cherish you. People that lie by omission are the WORST! See ya’ Jamie… YOU STINK!

December 10, 2021 5:09 pm

I really hope she picks Joe. I think he is the most mature of the three and exactly the kind of guy that Michelle needs. Strong, silent type…..just like her own dad who is also quiet but stands by her mother’s side in a supportive and gentle manner. Still waters run deep…..just like true love.

December 11, 2021 10:41 am

I think she will pick Nayte. If you look at her moments with him, it’s almost like she made her decision long ago and he’s in on the secret. I like Joe but he is too serious. She needs someone to be goofy with and Nayte fits the bill.

December 18, 2021 1:41 pm

My favourite part of the whole night was when Pizza Peter said to Will, “Wanna bury the hat? Let’s shake hands and be bygones!”

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