I wanna see you be brave
In the final days of my senior year, I asked all of my friends to write down one word that described me in my yearbook. Instead of a long soliloquy of how we had such a great time learning life lessons in the classrooms of Hallsville High School, I wanted to know how these important people of my youth would remember me. How did I make an impact in their lives?
Most of my friends just rolled their eyes and complied. Others quietly labeled me as “eccentric” or “strange” and went about their business writing the same old message to every other senior.
We’ve talked about how I was a strange kid, right?
I’m looking at that list right now. I’m actually holding my yearbook and staring at the adjectives.
Kudos to my BFF Julie who halfway broke the rules by submitting a hyphenated word: fun-loving. And thank you Brian for suggesting I am/was awesome.
Courtney thought I was creative. I love that. Chance said I was witty. As one of my oldest friends, I can say that I learned that trait from him.
Laci thought I was funny. YES! Jennifer said I was a leader. As president of the Spanish Club I say muchas gracias, Jennifer.
Joe Bob wrote that I was punctual which I assume he thought was a funny joke, but little does JB know that I smiled when I saw that 1994 Lincee was just as punctual as 2017 Lincee. Other labels included talented, friend, outgoing, energetic, and bubbly.
I’d say the list holds up. I feel like I am most of those things as a grown adult woman. Remember that time that I said I didn’t really like change? It makes sense that high school Lincee is pretty much current Lincee with a little more padding and some crows feet around the eyes.
A few weeks ago, I was asked by my friend Luke Brawner if he could interview me for his podcast “The H.” I had a great time. I was so surprised that my twang only came out once or twice! I was equally surprised when he described me as brave.
The compliment startled me. I don’t know if I have ever been described as a brave person.
On August 1, 2015, I stepped away from the oil and gas business and decided to branch out on my own. My first year was hectic but manageable. I had tons of freelance work, a sweet gig at CBS, and my other sweet gig at Entertainment Weekly. The change didn’t feel like a brave move. It felt right. It felt like obedience.
August 2016 was a different story. My work schedule was like a dust bowl with one, lone Big Bang Theory-looking tumbleweed blowing through. I panicked, knowing that there was very little income and I doubted myself for taking the step to branch out on my own doing something I loved to do. I questioned everything.
That’s when Sara Bareilles’ 2013 hit “Brave” re-entered my world. The song came on the radio as I was having an emotional “moment” in the Target parking lot. Sara told me:
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
I listened. And I searched my Bible for scripture that spoke about bravery.
Most of the verses I found combined trust, strength, and hope. There was also a lot about patience when it comes to bravery, which is just awesome, because I have a tough time with that one.
“But I trust in you, O Lord. You are my God. My time is in Your hands.” Psalm 31:14-15
“Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.” Psalm 31: 24
I didn’t understand why my fall schedule had suddenly opened up. Then I got a book deal and it all made sense. There’s no way I could have freelanced, written for CBS, and recapped four shows for EW while writing a book.
Well, I could have done it, but the book would have been mostly gibberish.
So I stepped out in faith. I covered my one show for EW and spent the rest of my days saying what I wanted to say, letting the words fall out. Honestly, I didn’t feel very brave.
It wasn’t until last week, when I announced on my website that I had actually written words that a publisher was going to print out on a page and bind for other people to read that it hit me…
My life is out there. For you and everyone else to read. The book is about INSECURITIES for crying out loud! Why in the world did I choose that topic? Why did I include the most embarrassing story ever in chapter 2? PEOPLE ARE GOING TO KNOW ABOUT CHAPTER 2 AND THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT NOW.
I called my friend Rebecca because I was looking over the edge, ready to freak out. I babbled on about what an idiot I was to put all my dirty laundry in a book for the entire world (read: residents of Hallsville) to devour.
Rebecca assured me I was not an idiot. In fact, she used that word again. She said I was brave. And my stories needed to be told. People will either relate or laugh their butts off at my expense. Either reaction is an acceptable one.
So here I am, permanently in a state of flux until this thing comes out. I’m not sure if we’d call this feeling I have as “brave.” It is more like an eternal butt clench mixed with heartburn, but I’m rolling with the flow. Or rolling in the deep. Or rolling on a river. Pass the antacid.
What I do know is that I’m practicing patience and hoping that Lord does whatever it is that He needs to do with the words in my book. If my stories can make you feel like you’re not the only one out there dealing with X, Y, or Z, then I achieved my goal.
And if the stories inspire you to be just a little bit brave, then this book will exceed all of my expectations.
yayyy so excited to read! You know you’ve inspired me for a while, and even more so when I got sick last year and left your sweet voicemail :). Made my day! Sending hugs!
I like your comment tag; that made me laugh! Thank you for your post and for continuing to write even as your podcast takes off. Something about the peacefulness of words on a page (even if that page is the internet). I relate to your jump of faith. Mine was from technology to the social sciences but still a leap. 🙂 Even now as I look back over my last year in a new city I see the combination of problems resolved (one involving a hyper noisy movie obsessed neighbor who seems to have magically gotten quiet… ), new challenges awaiting me and a slightly braver Lara that grew out of that. My faith song was and is “Oceans” by Hillsong United which I should probably go listen to right now. I do think your book will entertain and inspire; see it as another step on a journey you are already on. I look forward to reading it!
“Oceans” is an incredible song. I’m going to go listen to it now, too. Thank you for the encouragement Lara!
Oceans is the best song…it was used for our 17 yo niece’s funeral 3 yrs ago. Will always be meaningful to me.
You are inspirational and a hoot. Keep up the good work.
I became aware of a young girl who was being bullied this past year. She lives in Virginia and I do not, so I can’t kick the other kid’s behind, but I asked her mother if it was okay if I wrote to her and one of the things that I told her was Be Brave. Sometimes, bravery is that quiet voice that tells you everything will eventually be okay. Other times, bravery is that big loud voice coming from the vicinity of your throat, telling the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you. God always has a plan.
I’ve been privileged to read you blog for a number of years, laughing at the ridiculousness of the world that is the Bachelor and I cannot wait to read your book (to Kevin).
Kevin is going to LOVE my book. I just know it. Thank you Kelli!
Reading this post inspired me to pre-order the book immediately – I can’t wait till Feb 2018 now to read it! It’s like you’re speaking to ME ! Best of luck!
Okay, Traci. You’ve officially been given the old head’s up for chapter 2. I apologize in advance.
I would also add “encouraging” to the list of adjectives to describe you. You may not remember, but you wrote me an encouraging note one day at the beginning of my Senior year (your Junior year). I’ve kept it in my Bible all these years (25 of them) and am looking at it as I type this. Your words encouraged me so much that I’ve kept them all these years. Thank you for that! I’m wishing you all the best with your new book, and I can’t wait to read it!
Well this is just the craziest thing ever, Karyn. I do remember writing it but I don’t have a clue as to what I said. I’m sure I either quoted song lyrics or something from The Cosby Show. It floors me that you still have it. Incredible.
I mean, who’s NOT going to read the book to find out what chapter 2 says!? Just kidding.
Your post was making me tear up. It’s definitely hard to step out and be brave when you can’t see what’s around the bend. Can’t wait to read it!
I hope you like it Kristin!
Our Sunday School lesson was basically this! Trust. Was totally the message I needed to hear as I’m going thru some personal things that are testing my trust in people. This is what it said, “Failing to trust in God leads to disappointment and ruin.” (Job 15:31) “Trusting in anyone or anything other than God can have disastrous results. We must always remember that God’s way is the best way.” (Job 42:2, Prov 3:5-6) Totally LAID ME OUT. So, we are on the same page.
Came back to work today to another setback and I can only bow my head and ask him (again) to help me find the strength to let him have all the control over this situation. So thanks for your words today too.
Hang in there Erin. You’ve got this. So does He.
Lincee, sending many congrats your way!! Life has a funny way of closing and opening doors at the right time. Being brave is something I (and also my husband) struggle with…we are not risk takers and are always afraid of leaving the comfortable for the “what-if.” I have been trying to “have confidence,” but I think I like your “be brave” motto better. I have been a loyal follower of your blog for a few years and have listened to all of the podcasts. My husband and I are currently long distance for a work thing he is doing (taking chances, being brave!) and your witty banter kept me entertained for many hours on my latest road trip to see him. I adored the “love story” podcast, what girl doesn’t enjoy a fairy tale?! Can’t wait to read your book, I am sure it will be fantastic! Thank you for sharing your life with us, it always feels good to have someone to relate to!
You ARE brave!! Don’t let yourself think otherwise! And as for the handful of people who may read your book and mock you, or whatever it is you think would be the worst reaction , know this – recently told to a group of us at a work function – there are roughly 7.4 billion people on the planet. Even if 2.3 billion people don’t like what you’ve written – who cares! Look how many other people will enjoy it and get something wonderful out of it! Am reading your blog thanks to Big Mama’s suggestion and now I am off to buy your book – you and it sound wonderful!!
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