I like bears.

teddy-bear-chauncySeriously Spray Tan? Seriously?

There are no words.

Wait a minute. Who am I kidding? Words are my life and I have a lot of them. Feel free to discuss the boob molds and the throwing of Bachelorettes under the bus in the comment section below. Recap is coming up!

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randee
randee
January 20, 2009 9:54 am

CAN. NOT. WAIT. I laughed thru the whole episode (watched once on and of while it was actually on and then all the way thru on DVR)…big things expected today!! 🙂

DC
DC
January 20, 2009 10:02 am

THANK YOU for using the greatest line on reality TV as your lead. I’m still using this line today, as a matter of fact. When that idiot said that, I practically fell out of bed laughing and made myself giggle every 5 minutes b y just saying “I like bears.” Classic. I can only imagine the years of intellectual stimulation this beach Barbie will provide a lucky guy some day.

jjax
jjax
January 20, 2009 10:02 am

I seriously think this was the best episode yet. From Stephanie’s painful close your eyes while I thank you and kiss you to Nikki’s incredibly uncomfortable kiss that my husband made me rewind three times because he was in hysterics – classic. And Shannon hurling? I can’t believe he hasn’t realized yet that she is nuts. And you had to love spray tan proclaiming that you’d have to be God not to be attracted to her. Did you see in Chris Harrison’s blog that Jason offered her a consolation diamond necklace that she rejected and left in the limo? I can’t wait for the recap!

Clayton
Clayton
January 20, 2009 10:07 am

BEST LINE EVER. Oh. My. God. Teddy Graham simply dug her own grave….WOW. I felt for Jason. He couldn’t walk her out quick enough. And gee. Do you think he likes burnettes? And DC couldn’t agree with you more Stephanie’s AWKWARD kisses…..I was cringing…..I just think there is no sympathy there. And did anyone notice Jason never put his shirt back on during the ‘bust’ date? I mean…the screens? Come on ABC intern!!! What more could you do to get them all naked and still call it for a ‘good cause!?!!!’

jjax
jjax
January 20, 2009 10:10 am

#4 – my husband actually said “why does he still have his shirt off?”

Hannah
Hannah
January 20, 2009 10:15 am

I think this season is the most awkward season of all. Our group did a complete rewind/replay of Nikki’s kiss too, VERY uncomfortable and awkward…at least she got the real thing eventually. We are waiting for him to kick Megan to the curb, I’m tired of her already. Go Melissa and Jillian!!

Theresa
Theresa
January 20, 2009 10:17 am

There were far too many great parts of this episode to count:
1. Shannon’s awkward god-like worship of Jason (to include staring at him with a pained look on her face and attempting to get her to “feel him up” — when is she going to realize that she can’t convince him that she’s the one?)
2. Stephanie’s awkward face-kissing and horrible outfit on her date (really? you claim to love fashion but wore that muppet-inspired scarf with a T-SHIRT and jeans?)
3. Nikki’s kiss that was so so painful (Jason had to TURN HER FACE back towards him — ouch)
4. Megan’s bashing of everything that walks (she’s a nasty whore, isn’t she? I can’t imagine why no one likes her)
5. Erica’s awkward leaving speech (homegirl should’ve been gone week one — she especially should’ve been gone after her unfortunate drunken rage last week)
6. And finally, the piece de resistance — Natalie’s date. HAHAHAHAHA… seriously? SERIOUSLY? I like bears. What, like koala, polar bears? No, all bears. Nice. Classy. Natalie dear, I think what you’re missing is a brain. You’re pretty, yes. Good job. Well done. Too bad you don’t have a brain. Good luck with that.

I’m calling Melissa or Jillian. That’s fairly obvious. They’re the only two who can make it realistically.

Shameless
Shameless
January 20, 2009 10:20 am

This episode was ridiculous!! From all the shots of girls’ boobies from behind the screens while everyone pranced around saying it was “for such a good cause” made me about ready to barf. And I need to ask — WHO BOUGHT THOSE BUSTS?? How exactly are they saving the world with their crappy boob art? Are we going to see the creepiest, saddest ebay auction yet this week?

I also have it on authority that God himself is a bit flabbergasted about how even HE is supposed to resist Spray Tan’s charms. I mean, give the guy a break. He’s only God, not gay.

There were so many cringe-inducing moments. Was it Melissa who talked about her breast reduction surgery? Now, I certainly do not think that’s something to be ashamed of, and in a mature relationship it of course could and should be shared without any problems. But timing, Melissa. On TV when you’ve had one date with the dude is not the right time, never mind that your boobs were just plastered.

I feel bad for Stephanie. He was never into her and never will be. Having the kid on the date was kind of like a buffer. And did you hear Jason say, “No matter what happens, she’ll always have this?” That is NEVER good, people.

Stephanie
Stephanie
January 20, 2009 10:31 am

There was a lot in the episode last night, but the moment that I rewound 5 times is when Megan and Jason were sitting on the couch and she was talking about how she likes to help people. (I won’t get this exact but) She said “… to be somewhere for 7 – 10 days, not helping people, people not thanking her or appreciating or her thanking God for her was really hard…” so she was glad to be part of the breast mold activity. OMG – I about died!

Shameless
Shameless
January 20, 2009 10:35 am

LOL #9 Stephanie…I KNOW!!

Also, what is up with the women apparently being 25 but looking 35-40? I’m totally down with older women on the show, and actually think the show would be better for it, but come on. There is no way some of these ladies are as young as their ages say!

Shelley
Shelley
January 20, 2009 10:35 am

Oh so much to talk about, can’t wait for the recap! Thank God Natalie is gone, am I the only one who didn’t see what everyone else apparently thought was SO attractive? It is not good when your face is a completely different color than the rest of your body, I’m sorry. But I will have to agree with her that it wasn’t cool for Jason to pick up the rose only to tell her she wasn’t getting it. He should’ve left it there whilst he explained why she wasn’t getting it.

The kiss with Nikki was so odd, I really liked her but she is starting to get on my nerves.

And WHEN he is going to realize that Shannon has bought a one way ticket to Crazytown! She is going to go PSYCHO when he send her home! I can’t wait to see it!

And I really do like Stephanie but I don’t think she is the one and it’s going to be rough on her when he sends her home, I am not looking forward to that.

Shelley
Shelley
January 20, 2009 10:39 am

Oh Stephanie yes, all that talk from Megan….hmm one thinks a little highly of themselves I do believe! I mean it’s great that she helps people but you’re supposed to do it only to help people, not so they’ll tell you how wonderful you are and thank God for you. Your pleasure should come strictly from helping them. Not that people shouldn’t be appreciative of help received…okay I know what I’m saying maybe ya’ll can tell what it is through my rambling!

Aunt B
Aunt B
January 20, 2009 10:41 am

Last night was absolutely the funniest Bach ever! Between the the boobs, the bears, and the blubbering-I’m tired of Nikki’s chi-chis…..Melissa needs to pass along her reduction doc’s phone number to her….or at the very least, the ABC intern can make sure Nikki has a modesty cloth (like in some churches) to cover herself when she is overcome with too many boobs and too little dress to adequately shelter those missiles….Natalie and her bears…OMG…..there is nothing that can top that….I’m still giggling….oh, the wisdom and eloquence of an arrogant airhead….I’m sure there is a Cuckoo’s Nest somewhere is missing a patient named Shannon….honey, Jason wasn’t “feeling you up”….he was checking to see if those sagbags were real or if they were Memorex…..again, ugly dresses and big boobs are just not right….I can’t get passed the teeth and jawline on the girl….and with that scrunched up nose….it was painful to watch her blubbering histronics last night….and for her to open the bathroom door wiping her mouth after power spewing the toilet last night….I swear I saw Jason take a small step backwards as she was dragging that hand across her mouth…OTOH, I thought Stephanie was lookin’ better last night….not so much make-up and a genuine niceness that was fun to watch….not convinced she’s going to make it much farther, but she is not so bad….

Maureen
Maureen
January 20, 2009 10:42 am

Awesome episode. I laughed out loud so many times. “I like bears” is the new “I like Olive Garden” (from the Andrew Firestone season). I kind of felt that train wreck coming on… I knew it was going to be bad when Jason wanted to switch to serious talk. Oh, it was so painful (and hilarious) to watch.

heidi
heidi
January 20, 2009 10:47 am

Did anyone else notice the over-use of the word “qualities”? Someone needs to get these people a thesaurus. Or it could just that I noticed it because of how “qualities” was used the previous week. Also how come Sophia had multiple outfits to change into, but Jason and Stephanie had to stay in the same ocean soaked clothes all day? I realize wet children are uncomfortable, but still.

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