The Boss
Rated: R
Starring: Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Bell
The Trailer:

The Gist: After a millionaire goes to jail for insider trading, she finds a new passion in an unlikely place — a gaggle of Girl Scout knock-offs who help her create a brownie empire.

My Thoughts:

• Let’s all remember that Melissa McCarthy is incredibly funny. She whole-heartedly commits to every character.
• Let’s also remember that Kristen Bell is ridiculously charming. I give you Exhibit A.
• Unfortunately, the movie never took off like I wanted it to. Based on the trailer, I thought I would be laughing the entire time. Instead, I found myself mentally figuring out how I would have delivered a line differently or added some dialog to make the scene a little more zippy.
• Note: YOU WILL LAUGH. The Dandelions vs. Darlings street fight is legit. It borrows from Ron Burgundy’s Anchorman quite a bit, but the moment pays off. Substitute news anchors with little girls in berets and you have comedy gold.
• “I tried something called a Dorito and though it was delightful,” will forever be quoted in my home from now until the end of time.
• If you’re wearing a nursing bra and your kid is a double-digit age, it’s time to purchase new lingerie.
• Every group with whom you are a member needs a giant.
• If you ever have the opportunity to be lowered from the ceiling riding a golden phoenix with DJ Khaled’s “All I Do Is Win” playing, take it.
• Melissa wears a turtle neck in every scene that is pulled up to her cheeks. Seriously. Every…single…scene. This will annoy you.
• There will be moments when you want Kristen to ask her daughter if she wants to build a snowman. She never does.
• The love story is tepid. Don’t get your hopes up.
• Peter Dinklage’s character is creepy. I think the writers were going for eccentric. I also think I was supposed to feel sorry for him. Or maybe I was supposed to be rooting for him? I did neither.
• There are bloopers at the end. STAY BEHIND FOR THESE BLOOPERS.

Survey Says
The Boss has tons of f-bombs that come with an R-rated movie. Consider yourself warned. I personally would hold off to see this flick on a long flight across the country or wait for it to come out on RedBox. Or is it at RedBox? In RedBox? From RedBox?