15 moments from ‘The Bachelor’ at 20 special
It’s hard to believe that some of us have actually watched 20 seasons of The Bachelor. I would probably have challenged myself to name all 20 seasons worth of bachelors to prove that it has indeed been that long if ABC hadn’t aired sweet footage of Our Baby Face Host Chris Harrison having a mentor talk with original Bachelor Alex on what was probably Mike Fleiss’ personal Sony camcorder. It’s been a wild, strange, amazing ride and I enjoyed the walk down Memory Lane.
To quote Bob Guiney, “I think The Bachelor is responsible for all the love and happiness in the world.”
Any Bachelor TV special with Bob Guiney is one I can get behind. Let’s talk about the most memorable moments, shall we?
Always a bridesmaid
Michelle Money and Clare Crawley are still single and they want you to know that they are sort of fine with that relationship status. They are also a bit confused as to why Jade and Tanner didn’t segregate their wedding guests into “single” and “taken” sides of the aisle. Both will cut you with their statement necklaces if you even THINK about catching the wedding bouquet.
He thinks his tractor’s sexy
The Farmer is also still single and ready to mingle. He’s into Ashley I-Lashes sister (who I thought was Vienna for a hot second), but she seems to be thoroughly disgusted by his sweaty pits on the dance floor. Bless him.
Buns in the oven
Harrison was quick to point out that some of our former contestants are not only pregnant, but they are PREG-NANT. Nice. DDAHnna is about to pop with her second child. She married Stag’s twin brother. Too bad Stag wasn’t there to whip out some of his fine break dancing moves. Erica Rose is also with child, but without her tiara. She wants you to know that she found her special someone in eight weeks — just like The Bachelor! She also found herself starring down the barrel of a shotgun wedding, just like she always wanted. Such a random comment. I thought her beau was the fisherman bachelor (the one I called Centrum Silver), but I was wrong. Ali Fedowtowsky is next in line to parade her baby bump. Then Sean’s wife Catherine. Soon Melrose (Ashley S.) shows up with a swollen belly in a red dress. Harrison was quick to do the math, offering some insight to the viewing audience. If his calculations are correct, she pretty much did the deed right after Bachelor in Paradise. It looked like she wanted to throw a pomegranate at his face. The verdict is still out if she’s going to deliver the baby in Mesa Verde with a zombie doula.
A wink and a smile
Surprise, surprise, Ashley I-Lashes is still all up in Jared’s business. He looks at her as if she is a beloved best friend’s little sister who is majorly crushing on him. At one point, he yawns as she sits there awkwardly nursing her cocktail. She tells the camera she’s willing to go to third base tonight. She’s also going to murder him if he doesn’t make a move. Solid plan. Jared keeps his hands to himself and refrains from rolling his eyes too much. The longer the night goes on, the more liquor Lashes pours down her throat. By the time Jade and Tanner are pronounced man and wife, she’s once again crying in the green room about how life isn’t fair. All she’s ever wanted is to be engaged to Jared and get married in a pink princess dress on national TV with her Bachelor family watching. Is that too much to ask?!
Thanks, but no thanks
Dr. Travis Stork Skypes in, thanking Bachelor Nation for the continued support before apologizing that he can’t be there in person. It’s called “ratings,” people. He’s a smart man. Des and Chris also video chat. They choose to celebrate their anniversary instead of a free night of booze and frivolity. Ashley and JP also bow out of the festivities. Ashely has a clause in her contract that states she will only attend Bachelor-related events if she’s pregnant and needs a sonogram. Understandable.
The Royal We
Trista and Ryan are royalty. Everyone thinks so. Everyone knows so. Ryan needs to eat a sandwich or two.
Hot Tub time machine
Harrison counted down the steamiest hot tub moments from Bachelor history. Jason and Jillian (pre-nose job), Trista and Ryan and The Farmer and Kaitlyn (with Jimmy Kimmel) made the cut. Kevin Hart was snubbed.
Haters gonna hate
Apparently the producers at The Bachelor think we hate Michelle Money. I don’t know what audiences they are polling, but that is untrue. They also think we hate Tiara. Just because you can’t control your own eyebrow and have a fear of losing your sparkle doesn’t make you a horrible person. And then there’s Kelsey from The Farmer’s season. They pretty much nailed that one.
I squirmed the entire time the “most dramatic moments” played. Kaitlyn’s big “I banged Nick” reveal to her fiancé Shawn was certainly dramatic. So was Jason telling Melissa Rycroft that he was just kidding about that proposal and would really like to give the beautiful Neil Lane ring he was gifted to Molly, mmkay? Jake and Vienna will always be my favorite though. Both stare at Chris Harrison as Jake berates her for selling him out to a magazine. Then they start arguing and Harrison just lets it happen. Tears! Shouting! Veins popping! It’s what good TV is made of.
Taking cues from Olivia and Fitz
Scandals! The Bachelor is full of them! Remember when Ali found out that that Rated-R wrestler dude had a girlfriend? She challenged him in front of all the other guys and he left, traipsing through a sea of foliage with a cast on his foot just to get away from the tiny blonde who was about to rip him a new one. Courtney and Ben/Groban’s skinny dipping scene was a close second. I feel this wasn’t as scandalous as Clare and Juan Pablo’s tryst. I did agree with the number one most scandalous moment — Harrison kicking Roz off the show because she entered into a relationship with a staffer. Bye Felicia.
Pulling a Mesnick
If you’ve been reading me since Jason’s season, you’ll know that “pulling a Mesnick” consists of a man losing all emotional control as he weeps over the edge of a balcony. My friend Emily was nice enough to Tweet about it last night:
Thanks to my beloved #Bachelor20 for re-airing the greatest man cry- Full Mesnick ™ via @Lincee – video: pic.twitter.com/Ki2RrNlASg
— Emily Miller (@EmilyMiller) February 15, 2016
We’ve discussed that there are variations of The Mesnick. For example, if there isn’t easy access to a balcony, bending over onto any other tangible item, albeit a chair or a railing or a tree, is considered a Half-Mesnick. If no sturdy items are within reach that can withstand your emotional weight, placing one’s hands on one’s knees in order to weep freely is called a Quarter-Mesnick. I absolutely love that the show highlighted this phenomenon. I also should have trademarked that phrase back in 2009. Thanks to my other friend Emily who dug this up from my website back in the day. It’s an exchange with my friend Some Guy in Austin:
Am I blue?
Harrison’s bow tie was blue, right? Someone agree with me. Please.
Oh right. We’re gathered here today to watch a wedding.
Jade looked gorgeous. Tanner looked dapper. Neil Lane looked orange. All is right with the world. Matt Nathanson sang as Jade walked down the aisle. Harrison gives Tanner an affectionate “don’t puke now” pat on the back. Why was he so close you ask? Why Harrison facilitated the wedding, of course! Carly breaks rank from the bridesmaid line to sing an original song she wrote for the happy couple. Her new beau accompanies her on the guitar. She’d like for me to thank everyone who has already purchased the single on iTunes. TAKE THAT KIRK!
Kiss from a rose
Seal sings “Kiss From a Rose” as a surprise gift to the happy couple. They look kind of happy that a cool singer is serenading them, but they also look kind of irritated that their first dance as man and wife was not “You Are the Best Thing” by Ray LaMontagne as originally planned.
Bang, bang into the room
Andi has bangs now. They hang in her face. She doesn’t want people to notice whens she cuts her eyes in Our Host Chris Harrison’s direction during his celebratory toast.
What did you think about the special? Did you think the wedding was pretty? Were there any missing alumni that you were hoping to see? What were you favorite parts?
No bragging about how the franchise produced the Marcus & Lacey wedding, unless I missed it. But they DID show Lacey’s ignorance of stalactites and stalagmites, was this a diss?
I read that their wedding was a “fake” and rumor has it they are no longer a couple.
I’m convinced that’s true. I have a feeling they split when he joined the military. They’re not obnoxiously promoting Lacey’s perfume together anymore. Thank God. They were a really nauseating couple. Not cute and real like Tanner and Jade. It always seemed like a publicity stunt for them.
Do you think Andi and Chris are a thing??!
I think he would say no but she would get mad if he did OR they hooked up and he decided he is just not that into her.
I thought it was interesting that OHCH didn’t interview Andi – probably because the dating rumors were swirling at that point. I’d be shocked if they were together, but stranger things have happened! I was surprised that we hardly saw Andi on the special (again, perhaps due to the rumors??).
I wasn’t impressed with Andi’s new look with long bangs. I’m glad they didn’t interview her; she’s so impressed with herself.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they were. I’d be happy for them, as long as she doesn’t get another turn as bachelorette I’m happy.
Seemed like there was a lot of Bachelor alum there but then I kept thinking of more and more people that were missing. No Brad Womak. No Juan Pablo (not that he was missed). Bachelorette Meredith, the football player that was the bachelor, the prince, the fisherman…… so many!
And just want to add: I think Tanner was THE hottest thing I have ever seen come across my TV screen while watching any Bachelor/Bachelorette season and I thought Kaitlyn was an absolute dumbass for completely over looking him. Jade is a genius and one lucky girl !!
I still think OHCH should have given you props for the phrase Pulling a Mesnick. Mike Fleiss could never come up with that statement gold. I’m
Just not a fan of sheer panels on a wedding dress but Jade did look pretty. Tanners cute look when he saw Jade was classic “oh my goodness she looks amazing” followed immediately by “hold it together, don’t cry on TV dude” face. OHCH saying “man you are Preg-NANT.”. He really should know better.
I’m with you on the sheer panels. I cringed when she decided on that one and took a second glance to make sure there was no visible nip. The fact that it required a second glance to confirm that is exactly why sheer wedding dresses should NOT be a thing!
Compared to her naked video, that dress was conservative. She really is beautiful though.
I agree on the sheer panels. The top half of her dress looked like lingerie.
Where the heck was Ames!?!! I can’t believe he and his red pants didn’t make the Bachelor Pad hightlight reel! Robbed.
Here Here!!! I missed Ames too!
Ditto!! Wanted to see Ames…..Chris & Peyton Lambton would have been nice too, but I think they’ve evolved too much from the franchise…….
I knew you would love the Mesnick clip! As they lead up to ut, I thought there is no other clip to show just do it LOL!!!
OHCH convo with Ashley S was really weird. Like the flow was off lol! Erica arose may need to see about adjusting those sisters because they a re only going to get bigger during her pregnancy. Made my back hurt for her! Congrats to both of them.
I missed the first 20 minutes and missed Ali’s announcement a month ago she was expecting! Congrats to her too!
I could not remember Andi’s name for anything lol!!
I wonder if no Chris and Peyton mention – did they deuce out Bachleor Nation? I read somewhere Tenley was hurt she didn’t get an invite.
Jade looked beautiful and Tanner looked very handsome. It was very sweet.
Probably because Ashley was sober
Lincee, i noticed the blue bow tie also….and all i could think was , ” Armani doesn’t make a blue Tuxado ” 🙂
This just made my day.
Just thought Jade was truly beautiful. Who would of thought the Wild Stallion would really be truly ready for love with sweet Tanner. They seem very much in love. The St. Regis Monarch Bay never looked so nice. And there is a certain Real Housewife in the OC who wished her TV wedding had been as nicely done on that same lawn. ABC spent their money well, and I loved it all.
It was nice to see all of the past bachelors! I was really hoping they would do something about each bachelor and in order. Like where are they now – I would have loved that! I forget who some of the back bachelors are and it would have been fun to see what some of the other countries do too!
It was a beautiful wedding – I just love weddings though! Tanner and Jade are such a cute couple! I am glad that they did a show like this, I wish they would have made the wedding and reunion separate events though.
I was hoping for a where are they now too.
I still wonder why Des and Chris were robbed of having ABC pay for their wedding. It seems they were really dissed and they’re such a sweet and beautiful couple.
100 percent agree. Des’s story was MADE for a TV wedding- she’s a bridal designer for gosh sakes! They’re such a sweet couple and it sucks that they’re the only couple in this franchise that got snubbed.
There is a breakdown on each Bachelor from 1-20 here: http://www.eonline.com/photos/8095/the-bachelor-where-are-they-now/264097
I might just be a conspiracy theorist, but when Chris asks all the guests to stand for the new couple to come into the reception and dance, I swear you can see Lindsey B next to Ben! Fingers crossed for another Bachelor wedding!
I loved Jade´s dress! I´m not her biggest fan but she looked great!
Oh farmer. He should have a spin-off featuring his conversations with animals around the farm.
Last night made me realize that I really liked Andie as a bachelorette! Re-do a la Brad Womack?
I loved the ¨RIP Bachelor Pad¨ because they obviously know that was a flop of a show.
Lincee: You definitely coined the Mesnick phrase. Where was the recognition?!
Another thing to add: Did anyone feel like Ashley (of Ashley and JP) looked really different? Was something different about her eyebrows? I can’t figure it out…
Yes! Her eyebrows were super dark but there was something more going on. I can’t figure it out.
I didn’t see the show. Was it her sister pretending to be her? Did she have tattoos all over and coupons in her hands?
Yes! She was almost unrecognizable – what was it?!
Please not Andi again. :/
Oh Ashley I-lashes…that was just painful to watch. I’m hoping she’s good at faking the tears and that wasn’t real?! It kills me that someone so young (anyone really!) thinks so little of themselves and doesn’t have any self-worth (or awareness) to see the guy just doesn’t like you. Ashley, He’s Just Not That In To You…rent it, watch it, memorize it and repeat this to yourself often.
Aside from that awkwardness, I wish it would have been just a reunion and not centered around the wedding. There was so much they didn’t share! I would have loved a “where are they now” on all the bachelor/ettes.
I would have liked to have seen Alex Michel, but as they seemed to be having a tough time finding him (judging from all those, “have you seen Alex Michel?” clips they kept running the past few weeks), I’m assuming he’s in hiding and wants nothing to do with the franchise!
It would have been nice to hear his perspective, as the show has changed SO MUCH from when it first aired, and from what I understand, there was FAR less producer manipulation in the first couple of seasons (as I assume they were just figuring things out themselves at the time too!).
I think the Ashley/Jared sitting on the steps portion of the evening was fake. From the way they behaved earlier in the evening, and reading their instagram comments, they seem to really be friends. She even mentioned the “BIP vibe” – so awkward!
I thought Ali was wearing a hair salon robe at first! They had some ITM clips of her with a cute top on, then she was in a weird black cape.
Melrose looked gorgeous! She seemed a little more normal, and I heard that she reconnected with an old boyfriend (now her intended).
And needs to get that hair off her face.
I loved when different vows, songs, etc. were talking about the found love (cue to Trista/Ryan), the new love (Jade/Tanner) and those still seeking love – right to Nick!
Not to say that Ashley I wouldn’t have him in a second! I think she just realized that they could be friends, but he isn’t interested in romance with her.
Sorry, Andi needs to get that hair off her face!
Where was ‘he who must not be named’? Would have also liked to see Kelsey. Although I missed about 25 minutes driving my daughter’s friend home so perhaps I missed them.