Hello Green Beaners!

Thanks so much for your well wishes on my knee and little stitch problem.  All is well in the land of Lincee.  Apparently, I will continue to snip until there is nothing more to snip.  Unless things become infected and then we open up an entire other can of worms.  Fun!

First things first…

I’m hearing rumors that Jake is the next Bachelor.  Several of you have been emailing me links that this important news has been LEAKED by one of the contestants.  I’m going to go ahead and guess that her first-born will be immediately given to ABC executives upon his/her birth.  That’s the price you pay when you are on a reality show.  Everyone knows that.

I’m not sure how I feel about Jake as the next Bachelor.  I’m still TEAM REID.  He is so wonderful in so many ways…

And speaking of wonderful in many ways… THREE RIVERS DEBUTS SUNDAY!  Tune in to CBS at 9/8:00 EST.

As you recall, my friend Christopher is a lead actor in this new drama about organ donors, recipients and their doctors on CBS.  I talked about him at the end of this post, where I promised more charm and humor to come.  I encourage you to take the time to read through the wittiest Q&A I’ve conducted to date.  That way, you can brag to your friends that you knew Christopher J. Hanke when he was just starting out.

Behold:  The Wonder that is Hanke

Question:  What is the most intriguing thing about your character Ryan Abbott?  Will we love you?  Or love to hate you?

Answer:  Ryan Abbott is a newly hired assistant transplant coordinator that has ZERO medical experience.  In a hospital!  Of course Three Rivers doesn’t initially realize this, which allows for some real comedic, honest moments to unravel!  That sort of real life comedy has been refreshing and fun to play.  Ryan is a Midwestern boy scout, problem solving dude, that is so earnest and so open that he is hilarious without even realizing it!  Oh, and you will LOVE him.  I hope.  I think.  Don’t hate.  Please don’t hate.

Question:  How were you approached about the job?  Walk us through the process.

Answer:  I was in my manager’s office on a quick trip to LA to audition for some pilots.  Dannielle told me about this show called THREE RIVERS and that there was this perfect part for me that was the stand out role (re: funny guy in a drama) that I should audition for later that week.  Secret inside scoop is that my character at that point was named Ryan Romero.  So I guess that once I was cast the creators thought, “Wow.  Hanke doesn’t seem too Romero-ish to us.  No olive skin.  No Italian heritage.  Let’s go with Abbott.” 

I go in the room.  Nervous.  Dry mouth.  White on the corners of my lips.  Total loser.  I do the first scene and I’m kind of on track but with major nerves.  When the scene ends, I kind of pratt fall to the ground and just collapse “funny style, though, not all dramatic style”to release the tension that I had just created!  I remember sitting on the ground on my knees like I was 6 years old watching Barney.  The director said, “OK, Christopher, I think you should go a little more in this direction and remember this guy is a problem solver, not a moron!”  So, I got up, and did the scene again in a “I don’t know how, but I nailed it” kind of way. And that’s the character of Ryan in a nutshell.  He stumbles.   He fails.   He’s funny not meaning to be.  And then he delivers.  He comes through.  And that’s kind of what happened to me in that first audition. 

On a Friday night around 8pm, my agents and my manager call me to tell me I got the job!!!  So after pumping the air all “Rocky” style and after calling my dad and telling him I WOULD be able to pay him back the $5000 I owed him, I checked my checking account balance online to see how much celebrating I could do with my friends that night.  Let me tell you. God’s honest truth: $23 and some change.  Broke.  Broke ass wannabe actor actually made it and by the skin of his teeth.  It should be noted that the very next minute I called my father to have him wire me $500 so that I could live for the next few weeks.  Thanks dad! 

Then I remember making myself a celebratory cocktail while my manager was on the phone and I can still hear her saying, “Are you making a drink? and I’m like, “No, why?” and she’s all, “I can hear ice in a glass.” and I was like, No, that’s just this leftover, diet..lemonade thingy I was… OK!  I’ts vodka!” 

Question:  When did you know that you wanted to be an actor?

Answer: I was in London, studying, and I remember seeing a play in the West End and thinking that this guy, who was playing one of the leads wasn’t very good and that I could do better than him.  So I flew back to Texas, told my parents I wasn’t going to medical school, and I haven’t spoken to them sense.

No, I kid.  But that phone call was not easy.  “Hey dad, I know you just spent $300,000 on my education and all, but I’m going to be performing at Six Flags this fall instead of matriculating into med school.  Thanks, Bye.”

Cut to my father withdrawing all my graduation gift money out of my checking account.  Awesome!  But it was worth it.  I wouldn’t have done it any other way.

Question:  What do you consider your best physical feature? 

Answer:  Everyone always comments on my eyes, which are naturally very blue.  So, thank you Mom and Dad!  Or Mom.  Or Dad. Or both.  I don’t know.  I remember doing some type of recessive/dominant gene formula in high school biology about genes and heredity, and now I remember absolutely nothing about it.

Question: Have you ever bungee jumped? 

Answer:  ONCE!  And I will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER do it again.  I was at Six Flags in Houston and I had just eaten an awesome Greek dinner about an hour before and let’s just say..well..hummus on the pavement is not pretty!

Question:  Best concert ever?

Answer:  Miley Cyrus at the North Valley Mills Mall in ’07 in front of the Talbots.  Damn that was a good summer!

Question:  What is your life motto?

Answer:  Have unconditional love towards others – obviously the ones you love but even more so, the ones you don’t.

Question:  What do you think you will be doing five years from now?  

Answer:  I will have started a company that I hope will be able to incorporate a ton of different aspects of the entertainment arena.  I will be acting producing projects, some TV and some for theater, as well as a secret line of clothing I want to develop for dudes.  Move over Jacklyn smith, I’m coming to Kmart.

Question:  What cartoon character best describes you?

Answer:  Some people have told me that I remind them of the dentist elf Hermie from the classic claymation cartoon of Rudolph.  Is this a compliment?  I’m thinking no.

Question:  What super power would you like to possess and why?

Answer:  Time travel.  So I could flash forward and be finished with this Q&A.

Question:  Are you currently single? 

Answer:  I may have fathered a few children on a trip to Brazil one summer.  Damn sangria!

Question:  How do you feel about green beans?

Answer:  I actually love green beans.  But it sounds better if you say, haricot vert.  Maybe I should start a website called:ihateharicotvert.com?  You are going down Lincee!!!  DOWN!

Question:  What makes Lincee so awesome?

Answer:  Some major winning points for Lincee – her faith and belief system, her ability to make us smile with the most specific, obscure references known to man and pop culture, and the fact that she can put on a hard hat and rock an oil rig but then get in her car and have the Mamma Mia cast album blasting.  I mean…dichotomy at its core!

No I did not just use the word dichotomy! 

Dork.  I know.