I’ve been elfed

Guess who sent me this little gem of a video?

Some Guy in Austin has a little too much time on his hands. Am I right? Let me break this down a little further for you:

A. He Who Must Not Be Named chachi-ness spills through the screen, even when disguised as an adorable hip-hop elf.

B. It’s ironic that this video takes place in a snowy, cold environment, because hell would have to freeze over before this synchronized choreography with HWMNBN could actually happen . Let the record show that I would be happy to hip-hop in my elf costume and striped tights with anyone but him. That includes, but is not limited to, Bradley Cooper, Mike Rowe, the newly single Ryan Reynolds, Chris Pine, Coach Taylor, Damon Salvatore and Seth Meyers.

C. How awesome am I at the 33-second mark doing the centipede?

D. “If you wrong us, shall we not revenge?” – William Shakespeare
I feel wronged. Therefore, I shall get my revenge. This is not one of my stronger life skills, so I will ask you, dear reader, to step in and give me some suggestions in the comment section. All I can think of is covering Some Guy’s yard with toilet paper and prank calling him. Clearly, geography is a major hurdle in the first scenario and stupid caller ID will cramp my style in the second…not to mention the fact that 1988 was 22 years ago. I’m a little rusty. However, I’m quite confident that will your help, vengeance will be mine.

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December 29, 2010 8:08 pm

You’ve gotta admit that’s pretty funny. I was amused most by the smut look on HWMNBN’s face throughout the skit. I suggest a singing telegram as revenge, preferably sent to the workplace. Its a sure win. You’ll no doubt think of something witty. I enjoy reading your blog and hope it continues in the new year. Cheers!

December 29, 2010 9:01 pm

Oh Lincee, this is fantastic. You’ve got some sweet moves! Revenge is not one of my strengths either; but with the help of my roommates in college, we did pull of a pretty good prank on some boys who big-time deserved it. To “thank them” for helping us move after graduation, we made them brownies with a special (LEGAL) ingredient…and it made the boys pee green. It’s some ingredient for fish tanks…methylene blue, I think. Just a drop or two in the brownie mix will do. The guys actually called one of their moms to ask what she thought the bathroom “problem” could be.

Now, if this is some kind of criminal act, please don’t report me. And if you go to the pet store to buy the stuff, just don’t do what my friend did and ask the clerk “Is this stuff toxic to humans?” The response: “Uh, I don’t think we can sell this to you.”

Of course, Some Guy is probably reading this, so maybe Erin’s singing telegram is a better–and safer–idea after all. 🙂 Good luck!

December 29, 2010 11:35 pm

As a friend of both DP’s and Lincee’s, I’d like to state for the record…”Heather’s” suggestion of the stuff that makes you pee green is AWESOME…but I swear, to both DP and Lincee, it’s NOT the Heather who lives in Denver. That, however, is most spectatcular…it must be the name. You go girl!
I’m loyal to you both…so i’m just going to read…and laugh!

Aunt B
Aunt B
December 30, 2010 9:42 am

I’m thinkin’ you need to rent a billboard in Austin with an ad similiar to a personal ad…..and put his phone number on it….set up a bank account so all your readership can help fund this operation…..the ad could read something like “austin professional male looking for same to watch upcoming season of The Bachelor….must like Lone Star Beer and tight blue jeans…call xxx-xxx-xxxx if interested in long-term relationship”……

if a billboard is out of the question….put an ad in the austin newspaper…..it’s admittedly cheaper….it should read “need real Christmas trees for compost….will pick up…..call xxx-xxx-xxx or email at xxxxxx@xxxxx.com.”

I can probably think of something more evil…just need a chance to ponder it….my kids tell everyone that “Mom doesn’t get even, she gets evil”…..

Aunt B
Aunt B
December 30, 2010 9:43 am

AND the phone number/email must be SGIA’s…..oh, the havoc you’ll cause him!

December 30, 2010 10:13 am

Just give him a taste of his own medicine by making a jib jab routine with him and crazy Dave since he is such a fan 🙂

December 30, 2010 10:30 am

#3 Heather – I bet we could cause some great trouble together! Heather’s UNITE!! 🙂

December 30, 2010 12:24 pm

Oh the possibilities are endless here……… which method seems the best? I vote for making business cards with his name, phone number and email address on them, with a compromising photo (Photoshop to the rescue) and leaving them all over town. They would list his height, weight, hair color, and what he is looking for in a “man”. It would read like a personal ad. It’s only a few bucks to buy a pack at the office supply store, but it would be hours of entertainment, not to mention that havoc it would reap!

December 30, 2010 1:22 pm

Personally, I’m a big fan of sending a singing telegram/stripper to the office. Or you could order a cake to be delivered with something embarrassing written on it like “I’m sorry Crazy Dave broke up with you.” Those are both pretty harmless, yet hilarious!

I’m a HUGE supporter of the green pee idea, too. That’s genius!

December 30, 2010 1:34 pm

I kind of like the singing telegram. It’s more harmless than some of the other ideas. I think a personal ad might be a little harsh. You chose to post this in a public arena, but a personal ad in his name isn’t his choice.

December 30, 2010 2:18 pm

Gotta say thanks Some Guy, that is hilarious! No great revenge ideas right now.

December 30, 2010 5:10 pm

Lincee…ok beacuse he is in the business he is you can;t do the personal ad, too personal and you don’t want anything that could hurt his career in the end. I like the idea of sending flowers to his work from crazy dave, or some sexy card saying, meet me in the bathroom at 5:00 pm!

Or do something really funny, not sure what but he deserves it and it has to be good! You coudl get a picture of Dave and go to fedex printing and make it really LARGE and send that to him at his office. Have fun and Happy New Years!!

December 30, 2010 5:17 pm

Thanks Lincee and Some Guy…Now I have wasted a good part of my day on that website sending out videos to family and friends…I may have to do some screencaps of Brad and some of the girls to send out to those friends equally addicted to the Bachelor!!!

December 30, 2010 7:19 pm

My husband once “got revenge” on a nasty client by taking an ad out in the local newspaper for a garage sale starting at 6am . . the kicker, “gourmet chef-style pancake breakfast will be served to the first 10 customers , just ring the doorbell!

I think it is funny . . . and apparently it worked!

Love your blog Lincee . . . never commented before but this was a challenge I actually had an answer for!

December 30, 2010 10:13 pm

Ha! Thanks for the laugh — Lincee, I’m thinking revenge has already been yours by the posting of DPs underwear model shot in the recent past! However, I am a fan of the singing telegram — and with your way with words I’m sure you could craft something HILARIOUS — maybe it could be a song parody of “They Say Love It Don’t Come Easy” – but of course that song is already a parody of itself…
Can’t wait for Tuesday’s recap!!!

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