Bachelor Clayton Women Tell All Recap

Bachelor Clayton Recap | Women Tell All

If you’ve been around this website for a hot minute, you know that watching Women Tell All has never been at the top of my list of things I enjoy doing. However, because I love you people and am a professional, I prepared myself for a night of hysterical antics by watching dramatic clips of Real Housewives on YouTube and reading negative book reviews on my Amazon author page. 

That should help me grow a thick skin, right? That should help ease my mind into 114 minutes of griping, complaining, and shrieking, you think?

Nope. Mission not accomplished. I did not pass with flying colors. I totally counted my chickens before they hatched. I spent the entire night shouting ridiculous things at my television, which I will now share as a clever way to fill you in on all of the boring details you don’t technically need to know but are so eager to receive. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Uncle Jesse graces our screen, and I laugh at the tag under his name, which reads “Not Clayton Echard.” But, once proper kudos is given to the person who runs the overlay department at ABC, I hear Uncle Jesse confidently share that this is the most dramatic finale in Bachelor history. 

“Words! Words! Words!”

I couldn’t understand one thing said in the first five minutes of the show between Genevieve, Sierra, Shanae, That Unrecognizable Girl, Katie, and Hunter screaming over and at each other. 

“He’s lost all control.”

Uncle Jesse lacks the ability, desire, or stamina to control the women sitting before him. They don’t even register his noble attempt to get them to shut their traps.

“Awww. She’s so classy.”

Remember Cassie had a bigger crush on Lizzie McGuire than she did on Clayton? She claims that she never said anything ugly about the other girls, and the phrase “game on, b*tches” is a term of endearment. Also, if she’s getting a piece on the side, and it’s good, why wouldn’t she invite her Netflix buddy to stay on the line until she gets back from a small stint on a relatively popular reality TV show?

“How many times can one person be called the b-word?”

Everyone hates Shanae. Even women you don’t know (I’m looking at you, Kira) have strong feelings about Shanae’s personality. F-bombs drop left-and-right and not once, but thrice did a former contestant feel the need to explain to the viewing audience that Shanae’s audacity to compare herself to the great Meryl Streep equaled a heinous crime. 

“Why is Genevieve raising her hand?”

It seems this is the only way Gen can get a word in edgewise since Uncle Jesse has lost all control of the panel. 

“She’s the smartest one of the bunch.”

When Shanae is in the hot seat, she reminds everyone that Elizabeth is a toxic woman who is the definition of two-faced. Houston Lyndsey (with the foulest of all the mouths) reminds Shanae that it should matter if Elizabeth pretended to be her friend or not. Shanae didn’t come to make friends REMEMBER!? Touché!

“Remind me who Aaron is again?”

Uncle Jesse recreates the infamous two-on-one with Shanae and Genevieve, inviting them both to share the hot seat. We learn that Shanae has a secret. She knows why Genny didn’t go home grieving the loss of her boyfriend when Clayton rejected her in Vienna. It’s because she’s been hooking up with Aaron Clancy. 

NAME DROP! 

You know Aaron Clancy from the “Aaron and James” bromance from Bachelor in Paradise. So even though Genevieve denies any hanky panky, he did slide into her DMs, and they did meet at a bar. Is it true? Time will tell. Also, I don’t care.

“I don’t understand why this matters?”

Young Sarah did a great job not opening her mouth when all hell breaks loose on the panel. She simple blinks her big eyes and looks innocent. When on the hot seat, she manufactures big crocodile tears. SHE WAS IN LOVE, PEOPLE!

However, no one cares if she was there for the right reasons or not. The sticky point with this gaggle of crazy ladies is if Clay-en cried during his one-on-one with Sarah. It’s crucial that we get to the bottom of this necessary detail. PS: The Forum of Clayton’s Former Girlfriends asks Sarah to talk to the hand and decide they will ask Clay-en when he comes out if he cried or not.

Again, I have no idea why this matters or what it means. 

“She said Clayton!”

Teddi is sad about Clayton. I was ecstatic that she pronounced the “T” sound in his name!

We know Teddi is sad because Uncle Jesse performs a mock therapy session while Teddi is on the hot seat. The good news is that Teddi is ready for love. The unfortunate news is that Clayton’s brother has reached out to Teddi to see if she’s interested in another Echard brother. Her answer is a hard pass. 

“I hope they revisit Roland in Serene’s walk down Memory Lane.”

They do! And he’s still wonderful.

“His hair looks like Joey McIntyre circa 1985.”

Bless Clayton’s hair. And wardrobe. Also, I should point out that no one looks happy to see him. 

Clayton doesn’t look thrilled to be there, either. And that’s not because Sierra is yelling at him. He feels he could have handled a lot of things differently. Mistakes were made. Regret is something he can’t admit. One woman suggests that he confuses love and lust. 

But it was Sarah who was on the receiving end of a well-rehearsed monolog. Clayton did not like that so many women he trusted all had the same story about Sarah — that she thought she had it in the bag. She does her best to come out smelling like a rose. Instead, she smells like last night’s shrimp plate still rotting outside of Shanae’s hotel door. 

“So it’s Serene’s fault you fell in love with three women?”

Clayton tells Uncle Jesse he was “crushed” when watching Serene’s final date. She thinks that he kicked her to the curb because she finally said, “I love you.” It was not. Serene’s ability to dig deep, break down her walls, and say YES to falling in love on a random show with little success made Clayton want to open up even more to the remaining three ladies. At that moment, he decided to NOT hold back with Gabby, Susie, and Rachel. 

“Is this the slutty doctor woman?”

Kira, who you don’t remember, was verbal all night long. She also tells Clayton that if he didn’t get with anyone at the end of this journey, she’s happy to go out with him once it’s all blown over. 

“Aw, man. Those were as pitiful as the season has been.”

I’m talking about the bloopers. The most exciting thing worth showcasing was a series of bug-related incidents and scares. Plus, three women don’t know the difference between a meerkat, a possum, and an armadillo. 

“This is ominous.”

A few women admitted to “knowing things” and “what goes down” and feel bold enough to ask him if he’s okay. Is ABC trying to trick us? Or is this really the most dramatic finale of all seasons?

And why does Uncle Jesse say that he “still doesn’t know” how it ends? Does that mean that it hasn’t technically ended? Because Clayton either doesn’t choose anyone or is left by all the women? 

I would say inquiring minds want to know, but I don’t care at this point. Bring on Roland as the new bachelor!

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Pepper
Pepper
March 8, 2022 6:25 pm

I was watching some cop show on network TV (blanked on which one ) the bad guy was chasing the good guy, gun out, wearing a dress jacket over a hoodie. Clayton must be a style influencer! Thanks for all you do. Uncle Jesse lost all control over these “ladies” Also I don’t care, had my laughing out loud.

Dawn F
Dawn F
March 8, 2022 6:38 pm

I miss Chirs Harrison! He would have put the kabosh on the crazy women talking over each other. The ABC intern should have sprayed them with cold water to get them to cut it out! Or maybe just throw some shrimp their way….

Genny had the sourest expression on her face all night. She sure was outspoken for someone who had zero chemistry with Clay-on. It looked like she and Sarah had the same dress (just different colors). And, what the heck was Shanae wearing? It looked like she had a red high-waisted bathing suit bottom under her sheer dress. Not a good look. Teddi seemed to be the only girl there who actually still cared about him. Kira just seemed like she wanted to recreate a Fantasy Suite experience. Run, Clay-on, run!

I agree about Roland! He is H-O-T! Plus, he seemed to be a good big brother…very sweet and protective. Roland for Bachelor!

Thanks for doing these recaps. I know it has been an incredibly hard time for you. I lost my dad a year ago, so I know how tough it is. Watching this dumb show is escapism for many of us. Maybe laughing at the stupidity can give you a brief respite from the grief that can be overwhelming at times. I know that you keep me laughing with your witty take on the weekly shenanigans. <3

Dori
Dori
March 9, 2022 11:19 am
Reply to  Dawn F

I think you’re right about Sarah and Genevieve having the same dress only in different colors! I thought they both looked really pretty. It was definitely an interesting dress cut with a really structured strapless bodice thing . . . ? Anyway, I was intrigued by the look!

Libby
Libby
March 9, 2022 11:26 am
Reply to  Dawn F

The Women Tell All has literally always been a bunch of women yelling over each other. Chris could never control them either

Gondawatchsummore
Gondawatchsummore
March 8, 2022 9:49 pm

Lincee, You are still hilarious. May you always keep to your roots of writing these recaps. So good. Podcast is great. Reading these still make me snort and guffaw out loud. “She said ClayTon!” Your viewing quotes…just like Mastercard…priceless!

Grace
Grace
March 9, 2022 8:22 am

the only reason that I watch anything in the Bachelor franchise is so that I can get the most out of your blogs. I am torn whether I love your blog or podcast more. Somehow you are able to be hilariously funny while never crossing the line to cruelty. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Dori
Dori
March 9, 2022 11:16 am

Genevieve was beyond precious raising her little hand to try to get a word in! LOL Women Tell All was a hot mess catfight like we’ve never seen before. Poor Uncle Jesse is in WAY over his head.

Kelli
Kelli
March 9, 2022 11:20 am

Definitely on the I don’t care page with you. They should have just let those women yell the entire time. Oh wait–they basically did that. Also–I did laugh a little when they turned on Clay un. He probably deserved it. He isn’t the worst bachelor though–we’ve still got Juan Pablo and Colton in the top spots. But Shanae is definitely one of the top villains. And she doesn’t care.

Norma
Norma
March 9, 2022 2:19 pm

Goodness gracious me, I don’t even know where to begin! Gonna jump around here. You knew within the first minute that this was going to be one big massive cat fight. And Jesse, Chris or anybody else would have been able to stop that mess.

Genevieve kept raising her hand like she was in grade school had me seriously laughing out loud! Bless it!

Sierra! Girl acted like she was the spoke person for the night. Did they elect her or something because she seriously tried to ‘shush’ the other ladies behind her when they tried to get a word in edgewise. Did anybody else catch that but me??

Shanae: Probably the biggest woman villian in the entire Bachelor franchise. She is seriously a narcissistic sociopath…or something. She loves the attention and she seriously believes all her own lies.

Serene: loved her. Hate that she got hurt by the jackwagon named Clayton. But her brother Roland?? What a HEARTTHROB!!!! He sure is pretty to look at and seems like a genuine, normal guy. He would make a great bachelor!!!!!

I know I’m getting ahead of myself here, but the Tuesday night fantasy suite show was beyond jaw dropping. Can’t wait to hear Lincee’s take on that mess!!!!

PS: Love the podcast!

S J
S J
March 9, 2022 11:22 pm
Reply to  Norma

I was completely annoyed by Sierra! She had nothing but judgment and shame to cast on others, and her constant interruptions were less than flattering.

Kerry
Kerry
March 9, 2022 2:39 pm

I was surprised & upset they didn’t call out Shanae for sharing & berating Elizabeth’s mental health diagnosis. Especially since they made such a point to go over it on the show, I felt like she should have been held accountable for that above all else. It was the most classless thing any contestant could have done.

Pepper
Pepper
March 10, 2022 9:43 am
Reply to  Kerry

Cannot magine that Elizabeth wants it broadcast all over again on national television. Calling out Shanae brings up the topic and diagnosis all over again, informing peopke who hadn’t heard it before.

Tracy Braden
Tracy Braden
March 9, 2022 3:02 pm

The best part, IMO, was the recap of Uncle Jessie calling out the wrong name at his rose ceremony ages ago! I still remember that…best “blooper” ever.

SaraP
SaraP
March 9, 2022 4:29 pm

I for one believe that Shanae was a plant. Either a producer’s plant, or a plant of her own creation. It seemed to me as though several times during the WTA, she was on the verge of cracking up at how over-the-top she was being. No way is that who she really is.

Old Christine
Old Christine
March 9, 2022 10:26 pm
Reply to  SaraP

I have also wondered if Shanae was a plant. She was just too over the top. I have never thought that about anyone on the show before.

Bonnie L Krueger
Bonnie L Krueger
March 11, 2022 9:17 am
Reply to  Old Christine

I don’t know. I don’t think she wouldn’t ruin her own reputation if she really isn’t who she is being portrayed to be. I think she is authentically awful. I also kept hoping that someone from the audience or Jesse would say, “Ladies, his name is ClayTon, with a T. Let’s say it all together!”

Judy
Judy
March 10, 2022 3:01 pm

I kept waiting for Clayton to apologize to Elizabeth for believing Shanae–or at least for the other women to ask it of him.

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