If you’ve been around here for a minute, you know that the iHateGreenBeans safe word is PINEAPPLE. I screamed it at my television when I wasn’t rolling my eyes at Rachel’s incessant crying. Why? Because there were no less than 539 close-ups, tight-angled shots of kissing, tongues, lips, and one very unfortunate “smell my armpit” moment. Some Guy in Austin and I try to sift through the nonsense to answer the questions you all are asking. For example:

• Should we start calling Jesse by the name Le Palmer?
• How is Tyler old enough to buy a house, but not old enough to rent a car?
• Here’s a fun game. Count how many times Some Guy says the name of the cruise ship incorrectly.
• It’s true that Bachelor Nation should be mortified that Hayden left his cancer-stricken dog Rambo to come on this show. But should we be equally as appalled by those who left their children?

By the way, I know Rambo’s fate, and I share it with Some Guy mid-way through the show.

This is what we call a “teaser” in the biz!

EPISODE NOTES:

Here’s the recap for episode 4.

HERE is a link to the Google Doc with the dude’s Instagram feeds.

And here’s the link to our official Bachelorette Bracket we are playing with my favorite sports podcast, Last Night’s Game. I can’t wait!!!

Click HERE to be sucked in by the stats on Bachelor Data!

SHOW NOTES:

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