Bachelorette Gabby and Rachel Hometowns: Land the Plane
Bachelorette Gabby and Rachel Recap | Hometowns
It’s hometown dates, which means one of two things can happen. The parents will either get on board with the nonsense that their beloved son signed up for, or they will make Rachel cry using only their words. It’s that simple.
There’s a lot to unpack with these six-and-a-half visits around the United States. You should prepare for lots of mommy and daddy tears, blatant disdain, and one girl’s inability to rip the Band-Aid. Let’s meet the parents, shall we?
Our boy Jason is first out of the gate, which means he’s the most normal and likely drama-free. Gabby meets him on a balcony on Bourbon Street in New Orleans, and they take great pleasure in tossing Mardi Gras beads down to the non-topless strangers below. Why Gabby is wearing a black and white tennis dress is a mystery.
An even bigger mystery is their decision to meet Jason’s dad in the middle of a random park. With all the cool places to go in New Orleans, a dilapidated picnic table does not feel special. Especially when Jason’s dad nearly breaks down at the sight of his boy. Now we know where Jason gets all his feels. He comes by them naturally from this blubbering softie of a man, who is metaphorically grafting Gabby into their family as she affirms everything he’s saying with a Valley Girl, “Yeah.”
Jason’s mom isn’t that much better when it comes to holding in emotions. She weeps in front of her son, claiming that Gabby could totally be her daughter-in-law. Mom feels Gabby’s warmth and ease, projecting nothing but happiness. Plus, Jason can’t stop smiling. This is meant to be! Everyone thinks so, including Jason’s sister, who shares Gabby’s love for black and white attire.
The only hitch in this hometown giddy-up is when Jason confesses to his mother that he’s not ready for an engagement. The reality aspect of this process makes getting down on one knee at the finish line, not an option. Through huge tears, Mom cautions Jason to “not be distracted” by everything around him. Then she rushes into the other room to start cross-stitching little yellow daisies on a handkerchief for Gabby to carry on her wedding day.
Flipping to Rachel, we find our 90s-style-mom-jean-loving bachelorette with her normal, safe suitor, bicycling through Anaheim. Zach and Rachel first stop to watch planes take off (of course) before heading to his house to meet his family, including Uncle Pat who just so happens to be David Puddy from Seinfeld. High five!
Does this make Zach cooler? Yes. Yes, it does.
In a nutshell, Zach is happy, which means mom and dad are happy. The end. His parents don’t care that there are other guys because they are ecstatic that Zach is falling in love with this adorable woman sitting across from them.
Additionally, Zach becomes emotional when his father promises to support his son no matter what. If this ends in heartbreak, he will be there to pick up the pieces. Or he will have an incredible daughter-in-law. Whatever the case may be, he is Team Zach.
Thanks to all the love and support, Rachel feels confident to admit to Zach that she’s falling in love with him. She shares this news on the Roaming Bench in front of Zach’s house.
Question: When did khaki become a “color” we all wear? Shouldn’t this hue be reserved for zoologists, people who need to blend into their environments on safaris, and World-Famous Jungle Cruise skippers? Why is everyone picking a skin-toned color to showcase his or her assets?
In an interesting twist, Johnny, in his khaki shirt, decides to take Gabby to meet his family before sailing Gabby around in his boat. It seems sunset cruises film better than the current time, so meeting the family is pushed up in the official hometown agenda.
Cue the tears. I swear, this is the crying-est (that’s a word) bunch of families I’ve ever seen. Or is it just twice as many families? I can’t be sure, nor do I care. The point is that Johnny’s mom blubbers when he walks through the door.
Johnny’s dad notices the chemistry immediately. Johnny’s mom knows that “this is it.” Unfortunately, Johnny thinks Gabby is the totes, and he loves how she makes him laugh, but like Jason, he’s not sure if he’s ready to be engaged at the end of this journey.
Dad is confused. How is he not ready? He’s there emotionally. Gabby is awesome. Is it a financial issue? If so, you “go down that road together.”
Gosh, dad! Why don’t you just out Johnny on national television for being in major debt or not having a real job!
Unwilling to speak any more about silly things like the future, Johnny whisks Gabby away for a cruise at dusk. They make out in the shadows, while a voiceover from Gabby tells us that she’s falling in love with Johnny.
KHAKI TRENCH COATS
I don’t understand. Someone, please tell me why Rachel wore a man’s two-toned khaki trench coat the entire time she was on her date with Tyler. I understand it’s cold outside, but didn’t she know that going into this date? Someone had to dress her. Why did they choose a garment that had to be tied at the wrist?
Young Tyler works on the Jersey Shore in Wildwood at a place called Morey’s Pier. I’m eighty-seven percent sure Tyler is somehow related to Morey, because every carnie on the boardwalk knew who he was and wanted to somehow talk their way into the camera shot.
Rachel loves playing games and winning prizes, but the infiltration of Tyler’s friends and cousins, and co-workers is too much. It is then that we all realize she is going to let Tyler down easily before actually meeting his parents. Sadly, Tyler does not read the facial clues. He keeps swatting at those pesky red flags flying around his head.
Tyler rips his heart open and flings it all over Rachel. He professes to love. He promises to cherish. He swears to obey. We are one step away from calling over the bearded lady to pronounce them man and wife when Rachel mercifully interrupts his two-minute spiel to share that she’s not into him.
He takes the rejection with grace and dignity. The most uncomfortable part was when he travels to his mom’s house, sans Rachel, and has to explain he was just dumped on national television, and they don’t get to meet the evil woman who did it.
Do you think all of the bad words Tyler’s mom spewed after hearing this news will be on the Men Tell All blooper reel? I hope so.
Y’all. How many of you saw this date coming? And how many of you have a whole new perspective on Erich and Gabby’s relationship? ME TOO!!!
I was able to get past Gabby’s khaki jumpsuit when Erich reminded the viewing audience that his father is dying from terminal cancer. Apparently, Erich’s mom is a loyal caregiver, and Erich’s dad is a fighter who refuses to die. Mom is going to continue “watering that flower” and dad keeps coming back.
When Erich’s dad and Gabby talk about the relationship between an ICU nurse (Gabby’s profession) and their patients, I nearly keel over. As someone who just lost her father, I’m barely typing sentences on my computer at this point.
To hear Mom say that “it’s not good” makes me pause. But then, we hear Erich proclaim that he wouldn’t have gone on the show, nor would he have brought this production crew into their home, if he didn’t feel like Gabby was worth meeting.
This is when it gets hard to read the situation in front of you. Did Erich leave his dying father to potentially find love on a reality show? And if he is lucky enough to find it, is part of the “love” wrapped up in emotion over a father who is about to pass away?
SO MANY FEELINGS!!!!
The problem is that we barely know Erich. I spoke about this on the podcast with Some Guy in Austin, but I have no connection to any of these dudes. Is Erich genuine? He certainly seems that way when speaking to Gabby and sharing his very real life on camera.
Here’s the deal: Erich’s family is normal. They weren’t overdoing it. They were appropriately emotional. They asked great questions and embraced Gabby in a loving way. Moreover, Gabby seemed to fit right into their dynamic with ease. So much so that she tells Erich that she’s falling in love with him at dinner.
All seems well for Erich until the “coming up” reel for the remainder of the season. Gabby weeps on camera, frustrated by a big revelation. Jesse also has some news regarding Erich. Producers try to make us believe that this is all something terrible going down with regard to Erich. Then, Jesse tells Rachel that Gabby has left Mexico.
My theory? Erich’s dad passes away while he’s in Mexico (fantasy suites) and he flies home to be with his family. I believe Gabby goes with him. I think the footage of Gabby choking out that she’s unlovable probably pairs with either Jason or Johnny’s unwillingness to propose at the end of this ride.
Oh, look! Rachel’s in a khaki leather coat. Awesome. Ralph Lauren circa 1998 would be so proud.
Tino’s hometown was a hot mess for two reasons. First, Tino acts like a chach, telling his parents that he’s the last man standing and he will propose to Rachel after she dumps all the other guys in this game. PS: This is all going down in two weeks.
Tino’s Dad: “We need to have a talk.”
To make a very long story short, Tino’s parents think Rachel and Tino have been swept up in the “fairytale” and have no clue what real life is all about. You can’t possibly know someone after two months when you’ve collectively been around them for a total of ten hours.
My favorite part is when Tino’s dad asks Rachel for an itemized list of what she knows about his son. He’s convinced that Rachel doesn’t know the “real” Tino. He also tricks her when he asks what she expects at the end of this journey, and she answers, “A proposal.”
Tino’s Dad: “So you just want to get married. You don’t care to who?”
Naturally, Rachel feels “shook up” by Tino’s parents’ reaction and is hella scared that she won’t be accepted by her potential fiancé’s family when he gets down on one knee in fourteen days. How can she move forward knowing that they aren’t happy with her?
To be clear, it’s not technically Rachel they hate. It’s the process. But I find it hilarious that Tino tries to convince Rachel that his parents adored her. Good for Rachel for calling him out, adamant that they straight up can’t stand what she represents.
Tino gets nervous at the sight of his prize melting down before his eyes. It’s slipping away! So he goes for broke and tells Rachel what he should have said two weeks ago — he’s in love with her and has been for a while.
Rachel beams and makes out with Tino hard on the Roaming Bench. I still think he’s the one to beat, even though his parents are dunzo with this process.