Bachelor Recap: Hot Tubin’ Lovin’
Bachelorette Recap: Rachel Episode 6
Clearly our voices have been heard. Last night was the first episode in recent memory that ended with an actual rose ceremony unaccompanied by a “TO BE CONTINUED” slate. Our Host Chris Harrison must have read my recap, as well as your aggressive tweets. He probably reported back to Mike Fleiss that we were upset.
Bachelor Nation is a powerful group of people. I’m proud to be in your ranks.
But before we launch into this traditional episode, we do have to take care of a pesky two-on-one date in which some of the characters are not keeping it 100. Rachel has to let either Lee or Kenny go.
When we last left this uncomfortable date, Kenny learned that Lee had spilled a few false beans when he had his one-on-one time with Rachel. Lee recounts that Kenny threatened him on numerous occasions and hurled bad names. Kenny calls BS, Rachel rolls her eyes, Lee conceals his smirk with a tumbler of bourbon, and all crew members are put on high alert when Kenny starts cackling like a witch. The ABC Psychotherapist stands at the ready with a tiny pill, just in case.
Kenny laughs his way down the hill. He calls Lee a snake and swears that there is no need for them to ever speak again. Then he spouts so many expletives that someone in the sound booth is forced to hold his or her finger down on the high-pitched BLEEP button for a solid ten seconds.
Rachel is sooooo over this date. Plus, she’s cold. She judiciously explains to the guys that she pretty much hates the fact that both have different stories. Trust is a big deal to her, and since she is contractually obligated to take one of the dudes back in the helicopter, the rose can not go to Lee. Not so fast with the celebratory grin, there Kenny. The rose is not going to you either. Although she’s not going to leave you in the middle of a fjord like Lee, that boutonniere is going to remain firmly in Rachel’s cold, frigid fingers.
She walks to the waiting helicopter with Kenny. Once she hops inside, Kenny does not follow. He turns back around so he can have a talk with Lee one more time. I’m not sure what they discussed, because I was shouting, “TAKE OFF WITHOUT HIM! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!” to then television. For a hot second, I actually thought Rachel was going to. She is beyond annoyed that she is alone in her ride without a man by her side. A man who is sitting on pretty thin ice to begin with.
Kenny comes back, relieved that he got the last word in. He waves as the chopper pulls up and away from the snake in the grass down below. Meanwhile, back at the hostel suite in Oslo, the Norwegian Pauly picks up Lee’s bags and walks out the door to a chorus of rambunctious cheers.
Rachel invites Kenny to her suite so she can examine the witness. Rachel proves that Kenny behaved like a jack wagon. Kenny defends himself by claiming he believes instead of bottling things up, you should let your frustrations out and then be done with it.
Rachel: Is that before or after you go back to the helicopter?
Lincee: Are you keeping it 100 the entire time?
Kenny: I’m emotionally vulnerable.
Lincee: Did Taylor diagnose you?
Rachel trusts Kenny. She appreciates his sincerity and knows with everything inside her that Kenny is here for the right reasons (right reasons). She leans in thirty-percent of the way for a kiss. Kenny licks his lips (thanks to Bryan, she’s used to moist kisses) and gives her a quick peck. Rachel returns the favor by giving him the date rose. Kenny calls his daughter and cries when she tells him that he deserves to be happy. I may have teared up, too.
All the dudes dress in their best suits and walk down to the rose ceremony staging area. A few carry lanterns to make the experience even more Norse. Rachel arrives in a long-sleeved shimmery dress made of crushed golden tin foil. I loved it.
Five other guys join Will, Bryan, and Kenny in the safe zone. Dean, Eric, Peter, Adam Jr’s Dad, Penguin Matt. My boy MC Anthony and Josiah are ushered to the rejection reindeer sled outside.
Josiah is floored that he has been ousted. He speaks his mind, because it hurst to bite his tongue, telling the camera that Rachel suffers from poor judgement since she kept the Soviet Union KGB Agent (read: Alex Brother Russia) and the guy who brings a doll that looks like Mike Meyers (read: Adam Jr’s Dad) instead of him.
Josiah may have lost the girl, but he’ll always have his very smart brain and Spelling Bee cup. #silverlining
Rachel gathers her eight remaining fellas and tells them to pack their bags, because they’re going to Denmark! Our handy animated travel map helps those of us who may be geographically challenged form a mental picture of where Copenhagen is located. This is where we find Rachel biking around town in her heels.
Then something odd happens. Rachel starts spouting off facts about Denmark like her last name is Britannica. I would have brushed it off as filler copy, but she does it again when she and Eric explore the city together. She does this all day long. With each turn, Rachel has a different fact to share with Eric, who doesn’t seem to care that sailors used to live in a row of colorful houses. He was way more interested in chillin’ in an outdoor public bath of individual hot tubs.
I’m so glad Rachel remembered to pack her black-and-white bikini with a matching bandana in the pocket of her wool coat.
After hot tubbin’, Rachel takes Eric to the oldest amusement park in the world built in blah-blah-blah. Denmark must have put some sort of weird trivia clause in the contract that Rachel had to recite at least fifty facts on air in order for their stay at the Copenhagen Hilton to be free of charge.
The kids ride bumper cars, spin on the carousel, whack at moles, and snuggle on a ferris wheel. At dinner, Eric opens up a bit more about his childhood and how he was a good kid who never received any sort of affection. He’s super excited and a little scared at this new emotion he’s feeling. Although he’s not willing to unbutton his top button, he is willing to metaphorically let himself go for the glory of love.
It’s going to be soooooooo sad when she doesn’t pick him.
“I’ve taken a Viking to You Guys”
Peter in an old man sweater
Brother Russia Alex
Matt the Penguin
Adam Jr’s Dad
Rachel forces all of the guys (and a few old man tourists) to row her to the other side of the lake in a Viking ship. Once on land, the group meets Tom and Morton. Tom is a why-king teacher. And Morton is his trusty sidekick who knows everything Tom knows.
Call me crazy, but my affection for these viking instructors is right up there with Jorge the Bartender.
Tom and Morton are here to teach the men how to properly fight with wooden shields and swords. Whoever shows the most potential in why-king combat will win the heart of our fair maiden.
First up — a new wardrobe. Everyone scrambles to a tent in order to change into something a little more suitable for raiding and trading.
Not one looked like this:
That’s Travis Fimmel of the TV show Vikings.
Not to be confused with King Arthur himself, Charlie Hunnam:
Tom and Mort teach the guys how to pull a stick, hop on one leg, and push each other out of a circle. Kenny, of course, dominates, but let’s not forget that Adam Jr’s Dad came to play! They are the last two standing and the last two to both get knocked in the head with large, heavy, wooden shields. BLOOD IS DRAWN. Tom and Morton must be so proud of these why-kings.
Kenny is victorious. He gets a horned hat instead of a group rose. The days is a success in Rachel’s eyes. Although they were cold and bloody, the guys really brought everything to the viking circle. She wonders who will rise above the rest at the cocktail party?
Alex’s electric blue pants…that’s who.
Bryan grabs her first after the cocktail toast, takes her to a couch, and kisses her normally. He must be reading my recaps. Bryan talks about peeling back layers and Rachel admits that she’s nervous about what’s to come. Instead of telling her that’s perfectly normal, Bryan wonders why she isn’t more positive about their relationship? It’s so great!
I’ll give it a go: For starters, they don’t live in the same city or state. Second, there are other dudes vying for her attention, and she’s particularly fond of one with a gap in his front teeth. Also, she doesn’t know if she’s ready to meet families yet. Being the bachelorette is hard, y’all.
Bryan doesn’t understand. Since he’s so beautiful, he rarely has never received anything he didn’t go after. Between his ruggedly handsome good looks and ability to be one-thousand-percent positive (not a thing), Bryan easily calms Rachel’s nerves by telling her that he envisions their time together as magical.
Sounds like someone is still waiting for his acceptance letter into Hogwarts.
Rachel takes a different approach with Peter. She praises him for being handsome and acting nervous when they first met. She’s not good at vocalizing how she feels, so she wants Peter to know that she hearts him. He responds by admitting that she has inspired him to “look into the future.” Rachel is his muse. Rachel is also a smitten kitten.
See the difference between the Bryan encounter and the Peter encounter? Something is off with Bryan. He reminds me of Josh in Andi’s season. Is it just me?
In other news, Dean boozes it up with Rachel, Alex makes her laugh, Adam Jr’s Dad experiences the first kiss we’ve seen on television (is this also their first time to speak?), and Matt tells Rachel that Kenny is emotionally unraveling.
That’s like saying Corinne likes tequila. NO DUH!
Poor Kenny is an emotional mess. He takes it to Rachel, so they can keep things 100, and admits that as each day goes by, it gets more and more difficult for him to stay. Not only is he mentally drained from Lee’s antics, but he misses his daughter.
Kenny: I need to be confident with where we are at.
Lincee: As Linea Ray would say, you are between the A and the T.
Rachel: What are you missing from me?
Lincee: ANSWER CAREFULLY, KENNY.
Kenny: I’m not sure.
Rachel: Then I think you should go home, too.
Kenny: Wait, did I say that?
Rachel: I’ll miss you!
Kenny: You get me, girl.
Okay, I don’t think Kenny was technically asking for a plane ticket back to Vegas, but that’s what he got. Clearly Kenny looked around and thought, “I don’t have a relationship like she has with Eric or Adam Jr’s Dad (shocker) and she definitely doesn’t look at me the way she looks at Peter and Bryan. Maybe it’s my time to bow out of the race.”
Kenny goes home, Peter gets the group date rose, and for the first time, Bryan bristles with the knowledge that Peter is his number one competition. Let the games begin.
“Will You Be My Sweetie?”
Will is handsome, confident, smart, and is one of the best dressers in the cast. Rachel agrees with me. Her one beef is that Will clams up when he’s around her. To help him relax, Rachel takes Will to the land of meatballs and red gummy fish. Welcome to Sweden!
Rachel begins to tick off Swedish facts (Lord, help me), tries to dance with Will as a folk singer plays his guitar, and listens as an old married couple explain the secret of a successful marriage to her and the mute guy she’s sitting beside.
After, Rachel takes Will to the famous yadda yadda castle built in who knows by the blah blah blah people so they can take in the romantic view.
And they do take in that view. IN COMPLETE SILENCE.
You know that producer told the camera man to “stay on them…stay on them…” just to see how long Rachel would make those facial expressions that can’t be described as anything else but a huge green light for Will to make his move. He did not. He barely holds her hand.
Will shows up at dinner looking extremely well put together. I would say the same for Rachel if she hadn’t skinned a Fraggle to make her feathery coat. Rachel wastes no time diving in so she can address the big elephant in the room. But she does so subtly.
Rachel: What are you attracted to?
Will: Traditionally I’ve dated white girls.
Rachel: Okay, I get that. What type of boyfriend are you in a relationship?
Will: I’m very attentive. Physically intimacy is very important to me.
THE DEFENSE RESTS, YOUR HONOR!
Rachel thanks Will for being awesome, and a good friend (emphasis on the friend), but reprimands him for not being affection with her at all the entire day. She would have maybe let it slide if he had not confessed that he is a lovin’, touchin’, squeezin’ kind of guy. Since he didn’t respond to her that way, she can only assume that he’s not into her. Therefore, he must go home.
I understand what Rachel means. I also think Will is not the type of person who can jump in with both feet in order to fall in love for six weeks.
Rachel’s men are dropping like flies. She thinks about this as she stands in the rain, in her first pair of jeans of the season, with a crimson cold left clavicle sweater to keep her warm.
Gone are the days when bachelorettes needed cocktail parties to process their feelings. Rachel knows what she wants, but that doesn’t mean that sending another dude home is going to be easy. In fact, it’s going to be the most painful of all!
Eric and Peter have roses. They are in the clear. They have no qualms when Rachel leaves the rose ceremony room so she can be emotional outside. Even though Harrison takes her coat upon arrival, Our Host is nowhere to be seen. He must be out having a flagon of mead with Tom and Morton.
Through dry heaves and snotty snorts, Rachel extends roses to Bryan, Penguin Matt, Dean, and Adam Jr’s Dad. Brother Russia Alex and his hot pink tie are dunzo.
Rachel isn’t playing around. She’s here to find a husband. I just never thought this group would be her final six!
I’m emotionally vulnerable.
Did Taylor diagnose you?
That was much too good!
“Did Taylor diagnose you?” Brilliant line.
Kevin did not like this week’s episode for some reason. I will have to say that I said, aloud, I hope Lee is freezing his nuts off. Because he looked like he was. Even Rachel made a comment that her toes were ‘done’. I think that ground was much wetter than it looked and her boots got soaked through.
I wasn’t surprised that Kenny went home though. I actually thought she would take off in the helicopter after he went back to bark at Lee.
I’m getting a little tired of this season’s words–disingenuous and layers. It’s like the “right reasons” of yore.
Don’t forget “Keepin’ it 100!” That’s another classic this season. Haha
“Keepin’ it 100” has been driving me mad. Major eye rolls every time I hear it!
While we’re at it: “Each and every single one of you…”
Hahaha! Can I add “validate?”
Don’t forget the mandatory “with that being said”.
…And its fraternal twin, “having said that”.
Good drinking party phrases! We’ll get drunk fast.
As much as I love Rachel as the bachelorette, every time she says the word “feelings”, I hear “fillings.” Am I wrong? My ears are bleeding a little.
I just binge watched Jillian’s season (2009) and I can tell you that “right reasons” and “wrong reasons” was the number one repeated phrase, with “at the end of the day” making it’s first appearance, and “disingenuous” DID get uttered… by an audience member at the Men Tell All!
I also was yelling – take off – take off – take off, and I can’t believe she didn’t. I’m guessing the producer said – no, you must take him out of here because he may very well smash Lee into the cold wet earth. (which BTW – he deserved).
I thought Josh was creepy. I don’t think Bryan is creepy .
This is my favorite line today: “The ABC Psychotherapist stands at the ready with a tiny pill, just in case.”
You’re fun Lincee, thank you!
I agree with you. I mean, I fell for Josh’s act at first, but I don’t see how they’re the same other than they are both ridiculously good looking. I love Bryan!
Thank you…I have been trying to figure out Bryan. JOSH! In a word UGH! There is something about his that is rubbing me the wrong way. To slick, to perfect. Maybe too disingenuous and layered for his own good. See what I did there? Great recap as always
You’re keeping it 100.
Kim for the win!
Maybe if they hadn’t spent so much time on the Lee and Kenny drama, we might actually know what Matt the Penguin’s voice sounds like before we were down to the final six! Am I the only one had not seen her spend literally one minute of screen time with him until this episode? I mean, I know that a lot of stuff happens off camera, but still.
I’ll be honest, I’m just mad Alex and his purple zebra suit are gone. He gave me all the feelings.
YES, this!! What are we gonna do each week without Alex’s fine sartorial selections to look forward to? (sniff, sniff) That purple zebra suit was EVERYTHING. His hair was always cute too! 🙂
Yeah, Alex was fun!
Meeeee 3!! Hated seeing Alex go. Best VIKING ever. He looked just like Rolo in the series
I loved Alex’s many hairstyles and his narratives were hilarious! Cannot believe she kept Matt and Adam! Nothing wrong with them, except that we’ve hardly seen them (esp Matt)!
Good call on Rolo!
Yes! Will miss Alex, so cute and funny!
I vote for a spinoff featuring Alex and Ames and their pants.
I’m with you all and missing Alex’s wardrobe! I feel like this season the guys got more latitude with their clothing.
Maybe we haven’t seen the last of Alex. Maybe he’ll be the next Bachelor? #agirlcandream
Bryan does remind me of Josh but with much less apparent jackwaggonry. And the other guys don’t seem to have a problem with him, which is a decent sign. Team Peter, right here! He’s the only one who is obviously age and emotionally appropriate for her. Favorite line: “I would say the same for Rachel if she hadn’t skinned a Fraggle to make her feathery coat.” This made me start giggling at my desk! Awesome recap!
Agreed. The guys really don’t seem to have an issue with him. I know, I know, NO SPOILERS, but Reality Steve did say that he hasn’t received any news of him being a jackwaggon, which I would have expected given how he looks. He gets dirt on basically everyone, and he said surprisingly, nothing about him.
Kenny’s daughter is so lucky to have such a loving dad. I really liked Kenny but it was obvious he and Rachel would not make it to the end.
Still not sure why Adam’s Dad and The Penguin are there. Very strange that they are in the final six. Also I really enjoy the conversations the guys have among one another especially now that those dips Lee and Iggy are gone.
Is it just me or did Chris Harrison look extremely tired and bored?
No idea why those two guys are still around, and I agree it’s so much nicer to listen to the guys have normal, drama-free conversations now. Don’t know if Harrison was bored but I was thinking about what a cush job he has traveling the world for free and all he has to do is show up for a couple of hours at a rose ceremony.
When Rachel was talking about Hamlet and that she remembered the line he said which was ‘To Thine Own Self Be True’. I immediately thought ‘Hamlet didn’t say that-That Polonius guy did”. #clueless
I have not watched one episode all the way through since the the first one so each time the show comes on there is always one guy that I see and I’m like “Wait, who is that? Has he been here the whole time?”.
Bryan strikes me as the kind of guy that pursues a woman and makes her feel special, etc and then when he knows he has her, he starts to think about if he actually wants to be with her. I think he wants the fame and he wants to beat out all of the other guys. I don’t think he is there for the right reasons (right reasons).
Lincee-I love your recaps!
And THE MOST frustrating part? I’m not 100% sure Rachel doesn’t KNOW THIS ALREADY. And yet, she melts, every time she speaks his name…Maddening.
I agree with you Kristin, on all you wrote about Bryan.
I don’t see the Josh connection other than tall, dark, (less handsome, more charming).
Because of the brief amount of time, it seems these leads think passionate feelings = love. I get the sense that guys like Peter are going to be more guarded all the way through this process and therefore unable to “catch up” to Bryan, which is such an odd thing to write!
I thought the same thing about Hamlet and Cher from Clueless!
“Something is off with Bryan. He reminds me of Josh in Andi’s season. Is it just me?”
I’ve been thinking the same exact thing too! He’s so confident because he’s always been able to get exactly what he wants. He’s given me an icky from the start (I had nicknamed him El Douce-ay in the first episode)…I just have a weird feeling about him.
It should say “he’s given me an icky FEELING from the start” – what I wrote just sounds bad, lol. Oops!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks that. He’s good looking and he knows it, but is it all an act? I think he’s smarmy…
I rewatched the end of Tuesday’s episode and I can definitely see the similarity between Bryan and Josh. I hope he isn’t like Josh emotionally (for those who have read Andi’s book–Amanda basically confirmed the behavior when they broke up for good). The outtakes between Dean and Alex were hilarious.
“Bryan grabs her first after the cocktail toast, takes her to a couch, and kisses her normally. He must be reading my recaps.” I said the SAME exact thing (about your recaps) to my boyfriend last night, Lincee! It was the first episode of this season that he (grudgingly) watched with me, and I warned him about Bryan’s face-swallowing right before he leaned in to kiss her…totally normally, without any swallowing of her face. He must have gotten feedback from someone off-camera 🙂
I agree that there’s something off about her interactions with Bryan. He was my presumed front-runner until this week; now I’m thinking Peter.
Was anyone else pissed at the way they hyped Kenny’s bloody eye for weeks, and made it seem like it was a result of a physical altercation with Lee? Don’t get me wrong, I was glad that it came from something benign like that ridiculous (but fun to watch) why-king competition. But by teasing that clip over and over for weeks, they were totally feeding the “Kenny is violent” narrative, and it really didn’t sit well with me.
I was sad to see Alex go, and surprised she kept Adam and Matt. I guess there’s been some chemistry (or at least interaction) there that hasn’t made the editors’ cut.
I think the weeks of teasing with Kenny’s bloody eye was WRONG on many levels too. So unfair and out of context. What a sweetie
Yes! And the clip they kept showing of Kenny crying, he was crying after talking to his daughter! Not cool. He’s been my fave guy since the beginning
I hope the producers listen to the fans and realize WE don’t need to be misled to be interested in the show. If anything ….it makes us fast forward because we all know they are creating a phony cliff hangar
“See the difference between the Bryan encounter and the Peter encounter? Something is off with Bryan. He reminds me of Josh in Andi’s season. Is it just me?”
NO!!! It’s not! I said the same thing in another forum and nobody else could see it . I thought of Andi and Josh that first night when she confessed she was on to his “Rico Suave” act – and loved it. She KNEW he was acting and fell for it anyway.
If they didn’t have the one Cute Nice Black Guy holding on still (and never to be gotten rid of), I’d say “Peter for Bachelor!!!”
But we all know it’s gonna be Eric. I’d be willing to put money on it.
It was Bryan from that first sloppy face-eating kiss. Every line he feeds her, every time he Rico Suave’s her, she’s gets meltier and meltier until by Fantasy Suite time she’s gonna be a puddle.
Put me in the camp of having noticed Bryan being reminiscent of Josh. I actually mentioned it on Sharleen Joynts blog after watching last weeks episode. He says what she wants to hear, case closed. I knew a guy like him, he just read women VERY WELL, charming as all get out and not even super attractive physically.. But wow did he score big. I hate to say it but we ladies all are susceptible to the Bryan/Josh types out there. They seem very sincere and look at the smart women that fall for it, like Rachel and Andi. Rachel really needs to ponder why she keeps saying he is too good to be true.
I’m liking Peter better (and Dean too), but I am definitely sensing he’s just not that into her. Hate to go by these totally misleading previews but I think Peter must do something that makes her think twice about him next week.
Her choice is Peter. From Day One. It has to be hard to ‘play interested’ in the other men. Rachel has done a good job – or the editing has – of playing down Peter a bit and making us think the others actually have a shot. That hasn’t always happened in other seasons.
Is it just me, or is Peter not as into her as she is to him? He just doesn’t seem particularly passionate or excited when he’s with her.
He gives her the “love puppy” look when she’s talking to other guys…. methinks he’s not responding well under these conditions unlike player Bryan.
I think he’s into her but maybe he just has a chill, calm personality. Although it does seem like twice now she’s had to ask him to kiss her (or keep kissing her). So maybe you’re right… I hope not.
I’ve thought that, too. Watch his hands when he kisses her (other than that HOTTTT hot tub session)–he doesn’t really embrace her. I really like him for her but after seeing the preview I’m worried he’s going to pull a Brooks and bow out. And in that case she’ll definite end up with Bryan, who I also noticed was a little Josh-like. I like that Peter and her have real conversations, whereas Rachel and Bryan only seem to have physical chemistry. My hope that Peter actually doesn’t pull and Ali F/Andi and bow out early to become the next lead.
While I like Eric and loved their effortless date, I don’t think he challenges Rachel intellectually and I don’t know if he is Bachelor material. I’d actually love to see Kenny since he seems like such a good guy, and I think that Will is quite the catch too. Really need to see more footage of Matt and Adam if she’s going to keep them around, not fair to devote SO much time to some of the manufactured drama and then leave us scratching our heads.
I agree. I’d like to see Will as the Bachelor. I think he has a lot to offer…..and maybe he just wasn’t connecting with Rachel.
I agree with you about the effortless date Alison, for sure Eric was the most naturally excited contestant I’ve ever seen on this show, but he’s a kid, Rachel needs a man. Liked Kenny until the end, there’s manly and then there’s ape.
I like Peter for the win now, I was thinking maybe he was actually cool.
Take off!!! I would have definitely taken off… Great recap, Lincee!
I have to disagree about the Bryan-Josh comparison. Josh was such a clear douchazoid from the beginning. He creeped me out on every occasion, and he had very obvious signs of rage+control issues. Bryan is not creepy. He’s just a suave Colombian… I know a bunch of suave Colombians. This is just how they roll. His game is to get the girl and then decide if he wants her or not (I think somebody said that in the comments already, and I totally agree). To play the devil’s advocate here, I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad approach given the unusual circumstances (you can’t realistically get to deeply know a person in a few weeks anyways!).
I think if Peter were not there, he would probably get the girl too. But she’s 100 into Peter…